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Testing 1,
2, 3 . . . 46, 47, 48 Having experienced firsthand multiple times over the process of testing, I feel I can say unequivocally that I am somewhat of an expert on this subject. Four years ago God saw fit to send us three children with special needs through adoption. Each has unique needs that require a lot of research, testing and observation to define the exact problem, discover potential solutions, and pinpoint the most effective treatments. Many times, it has taken several rounds of "define, discover and pinpoint" to reach the effective treatment stage. Through it all, our trust in God's providence has never been betrayed. Matthew arrived first, and at 5 weeks had already been through many tests. The initial one being a birth that required 4 resuscitations, an Apgar test score of 1, two weeks in NICU, Phenobarbital for drug exposure and possible seizures, hearing tests to determine loss, physical therapy and a very grim diagnosis. Six months later God brought the dynamic duo of Rebecca, two years, and Kaera, 11 months to our family. They had passed the test of survival in a situation of extreme neglect. So, with that as the starting gate, we leaped into the world of testing, testing, testing. Matthew, is now four and a half. The labels that have matched his symptoms are autism, mental retardation, and hearing impaired with a variety of sensory integration problems. We have added the labels "angelic in appearance" and "Mr. Comedian." At a rough estimate, he has been through at least 34 different testing procedures, and counting. Kaera, now almost five, just completed the process of being tested for central auditory processing disorders. She was also tested to determine her level of cognitive development so we can fine tune the areas she is having problems with and determining how many are true problems and how many are behavioral. Rebecca, now six and our first homeschool guinea pig, was labeled as borderline Defiant Oppositional Disorder, potential ADHD and also incurred great sympathy from the Ph.D. evaluator for her amazingly strong will. She has been through quite a lot of medical intervention on the alternative side for her headaches and is undergoing continued testing to determine if her infantile skull fracture is ultimately the cause. She is most probably ADHD, but we don't need a an official diagnosis, we know. She has begun Neurofeedback to try and fix the damage done to her brain and subsequent behavior due to the head trauma. . Of course, we are a very unusual family. Still, as I write these words, I can see how the love of God has sustained us as we help our children cope with their difficulties. Without our trust in God, we could not have come this far. We willingly submit ourselves and our children to the process of testing to try and determine the best ways we can help them and to decide which course of action to take. Each child is special in God's eyes. Therefore, we know God will help us properly assess which path to take in finding compassionate therapists and beneficial treatment plans at every juncture. At a recent meeting to determine Matthew's educational goals for the next year at a preschool for special needs children, we were in the room with 11 other people. These degreed professionals are well-qualified to meet the needs of our child. At this meeting we needed to inform them that the methods they were using were resulting in a regression in our child's development and were wholly inappropriate. The only way we could sit in that meeting on an even footing with all these professionals is because I spent over 100 hours doing research, phone work, networking and finding advocates to support us in our endeavor. Armed with binders full of previous tests that had been administered to our son and other data collected over the years, we were able to make the case that the best practice for our special needs child was not in effect. We then outlined an alternative program based upon the information I had gathered. The process of gaining this information and knowledge was a painful, tedious, laborious process in which I was oftentimes near tears as I watched my child in tremendous pain, screaming and tantrumming through each procedure. Whether it be medical or just therapy, it was all so that we could give him the help he needed. It was so painful that my husband could not even stand to participate as his pain on behalf of our son was too great. But, in searching for answers and striving for healing, this was all necessary. Testing takes time. Sometimes it takes money. It is our obligation to help our children, and sometimes it is hunbling to find that we do need that professional assistance. The mother is often the best observer of the child, for she knows the child with her heart. She instinctively will see what is working and what is not advisable. Each child has been a myriad of puzzle and contradiction who requires intense scrutiny and a listening ear to the voice of the Holy Spirit. I have found that the Holy Spirit is my clearest guide as to when it is time to move to a new treatment, when to change a behavioral strategy and when to just wait and see. The Holy Spirit tells me when my child is in trouble and can't keep it together. Sometimes their insides are out of balance or their body and brain are in a developmental shift and I just need to wait. Other times I need to research and propose radicl changes like the meeting listed above. This process of testing is intimidating. You must first determine that your child has a problem then you need to share it with others. You will sit across the desk from someone with a Ph.D. who will ask you countless questions regarding things you may never have noticed about your child. They might be very clinical or they might be very warm. You may walk out relieved, or you may be devastated as your world is shattered by the results of your child's "test." Whatever the case and the scenario, this is your calling, your ministry and your opportunity to leave the world that you were a part of and go to a new place with new language, new associates, new opportunities and new emotions, many of which you are not comfortable with. But Jesus never said we were to be comfortable and no one ever said it was supposed to be easy. Testing can and does complicate your life for a time. You will find that you are striving for understanding for yourself and your child, and you may not find it for a while. But one day you will meet another mom, another family, a good therapist, doctor or teacher who will be your lifeline and when you finish dogpaddling over to the edge of the oceanic abyss you fell into, you may find that God will gift you with the ability to be someone else's lifeline, a mentor. It all starts with the courage to face the first test, and the next test and the next until you are as knowledgeable as you can be about your precious child. You will have the courage to advocate for this child who has been given to you but for a while, and if you can do it with faith, grace, dignity and respect, you will impact the hearts of many people. They will be strengthened and challenged by your zeal and knowledge. You will become a blessing to others as well as your child by your dedication, diligence, and desire to serve your child in a sacrificial way by seeking answers to your questions. God's word does not return to Him void, but accomplishes the purpose for which He sent it. Imagine yourself with God's purpose in mind, and you will have strength to face any test on earth.
Nancy L. Grubbs is a freelance writer from
California. ©Copyright 2006 by ADHD of the Christian Kind. |
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