ADHD of the Christian Kind
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 ADHD of the Christian Kind - List Archives: Homeschooling - Part 3

Homeschooling - Part 3

NOTICE: The following posts are taken from the Christian ADHD List. The names, e-mail addresses and locations of all parties involved have been removed to protect their privacy. The posts have been used with permission, but are copyrighted by ADHD of the Christian Kind.

As for school, I homeschool too. I learned with _____, and am now having to relearn again with _____, to allow them to reap natural consequences. When they wouldn't be able to do their work it used to frustrate me and I'd get stressed out. I have other responsibilities too, other than just school (sound familiar?)! The solution came out of desperation. I knew I was causing more harm than good making them sit there and hollering at them to get to work, "stay on task", but I couldn't just let them off the hook and reinforce the negative. So, I started calmly saying, before I got super frustrated, "you know what, you aren't paying attention right now, I don't have time to sit here with you and wait till you're ready to work, go to your room until you are REALLY ready to sit here and get the work done". When they returned we started back to work, if they STILL were not paying attention they went back to their room. During this time, I worked on the kitchen or living room or just general housekeeping things. When they finally did do the work I would stay with them so I could answer any questions for them, and when they were finished I told them, "I'm glad you are finished, I'm proud of you for getting yourself under control. I just want to mention to you that you could have been outside playing, or whatever you wanted to do today an hour (or however long it took) earlier, that's how much time you wasted of your own free time by not focusing on your work." Slowly they started not wanting to waste time and made sure they did they're work in a no nonsense approach. Things are better now. I'm not sure to this day who really learned more, me or the kids.

Well, we took _____ to the Neurologist today. He is ADD, but no hyperactivity. That's the diagnosis. Unfortunately our little visit was very little on the physical end of things, she was very liberal at expressing her opinion as fact. In her opinion, because _____ has speech and reading problems, he's in 3rd grade and barely able to sound out 3 letter simple words. He should by all means be in school and I am not adequately trained to teach him.

I've cried buckets. It hurts so much to feel like I'm failing my son. Not to mention that if I'm failing him, I'm failing God. But I'm so confused! I really don't believe that I am supposed to put him back in school. I need prayers, both for decision-making and emotional strenghth, I feel like Satan was personified and just slapped me hard across the face. I don't mean to sound so horrible about this Dr., just trying to explain the way I'm feeling right now.

I'm going to write to HSLDA as soon as I'm done with this letter to you all and ask for resources. The thing is, she doesn't understand that he is making progress. For the first time! He's making steady, tiny little steps forward. First of all, he's willing to try to sound words out, you have no idea how much of an improvement this is! And he's starting to understand the process, not much, but a bit, but my feeling is, it's a starting point. Plus, this child is an ace at Math! He understands a sentence must start with a capital letter and end with a punctuation mark. He understands a noun is a person, place or thing and a verb is an action word.

I'm so angry and confused, please join me in prayer. Thanks for your prayers, love and support,

You need a second opinion. If _____ needs additional help, hire tutors, speech/learning therapists, whatever is necessary. But do not beat yourself up because this dr. is full of opinions.

I am sorry, but this makes me angry. You have to realize that many drs. are just against homeschooling and use their professional status to promote their own opinions.

I am praying that the Lord shows Himself to you through all this; His perfect will for _____.

A lot of systems will allow your child to enrol in a literacy and speech program without being enrolled in school. I would look into it. There are many resources for that. _____ is in public school and don't feel bad......he had to join the literacy program too. He is six......at three he couldn't speak and ended up needing tubes in his ears because he couldn't hear .......that could be something for you to look into also. I home schooled and _____ leaped and bounded everywhere but had a hard time with blends and speaking properly........but he is slowly catching on. My mother was a teacher and she says that it isn't uncommon for boys to be slow in reading and language skills I would just keep more emphasis on the language and reading and not worry about math (_____ and I also excel in math. _____ is in a combined 1/2 grade class and was given 2nd grade work to find his level and he didn't miss a problem)

I would encourage you to keep doing what you are doing. Our second son, although not ADHD, was much like this and i struggled through two years of trying to make him. He is now in the second grade and just in the last 4-5 months gone beyond what you are describing with your son. It was extrememly frustrating for me and took alot of my time. The one thing that I did know was that if he could not make progress in these areas one on one, a school setting probably would not be better. He would have been lost in the shuffle. I am a former school teacher so I know this from first-hand experience not just an opinion of what public school's are. That is not a slam to public schools but I just know that I was unable to give 25 children everything that they needed and many of the other teachers felt the same way. With my son, it seemed all of a sudden the light bulb went on and he really began to "get it" and has made incredible progress. You know your son and you can give him the love and encouragement that he needs.

A year and a half ago I felt led by the Lord to enroll _____ in the small Christian school that he has been attending for the past year. I resisted, as I am very commited to home schooling (this is our 14th year of home education). And I tend to be very double-minded in this area area, thinking , yes, this school is a wonderful answer to our prayers.. but......from which I go on to day dream of a wonderful homeschooling situation where _____ is home once again with _____ and ______.

Through the weekly time of fasting, the Lord is helping me to get beyond looking at how I can help _____ to "change" and more at myself and how to be his mother. And now I am once more going through the Christian school/home school issue for _____. My husband is much more of Christian school person: I am the one with the heart for homeschool. I prefer home-based fellowship and one and one relationships, while he likes to participate and sometimes lead activities based at the church. He allows me to home school and is supportive of me. However, it is easy to see that his heart is really with the Christian school that _____ attends. I am thankful to be homeschooling _____ and _____ and because things are going well (even with _____ very high degree of distractiblility) I don't have to bring problems about homeschool to my husband, and can freely share the progress I see us making day to day. In my down times I tend to think, "If I could have just been more SUCCESSFUL in homeschooling _____, then everything would be different. And then once again, I slowly relinquish my hold on wishing for what might have been and see God's provision right where I am.

I don't know if this is making any sense, but what I am saying is that, "Let us encourage one another in drawing near to God so that we may discern His will for our children." We each have our own struggles. And there is no one answer except to flee to Jesus our Savior.

Well, your house sounds kinda like ours. I have been very dissapointed with the results our local school district is having with our son. He is currently in the 2nd grade. He was diagnosed as ADD in kindergarten. He has fallen behind in school dramatically this year. He doesn't seem to be able to put things he has learned together. For instance, he knows all of his addition facts, but when he is doing a math paper (they do Saxon math) he doesn't realize the correlation between his math facts and the problems on his math paper. He is really struggling with his reading and reads on a upper first grade level. The school has done alot of other testing and he is within all of their normal ranges.

We are a christian family and believe the only real hope of him not getting further behind in school is for me to homeschool him. He will be returning to school on 1/5/98. We have given this considerable thought and prayer and decided to proceed during the Christmas holidays. I am searching for the proper textbooks to use. If you have any advice or suggestions, please let me know. We are desperate to provide our son with the proper education he needs.

"What do you think about unschooling for ADHD and gifted children, and how best do I keep the proper records to satisfy my school district. (I am required to keep a portfolio with a planner, attendance record, reading log and a sample of his work.)

I guess I am feeling really nervous about not structuring his school day. I am not worried about him learning; he just naturally delves deep into any subject that interests him. My main concern is the government.

My 4-year-old seems to naturally learn the same way as _____, but my 6-year-old daughter seems to do better with structured school work."

You are taking steps to do what is right for each child and that is the main key! Good for you. If structure = stress then eliminate structure or lessen it for that child.

As to record keeping - lots of options. A portfolio record of what WAS studied - made after the fact - is fine. Take photos of projects, keep anything he draws (have him label), designs, or writes. Include dates and other pertinent info he may not include (like this was written about an exhibit he saw at museum of science in Nashville). Okay, I really didn't mean to keep Every paper. But I usually suggest one paper per subject per week. If you aren't ADD yourself, my book Luke's Academic List has a list of "all" the academics fro K-8. You can just log what he studies and try in the Jr. hi/Sr. hi years to make sure he has a broad enough base from which to make wise career choices. Join HSLDA and keep them informed. I have a little booklet on record keeping, too, that might help.

Keep structure secure for the one(s) that need it. God made every one of us different! It is okay!

_____ is in my prayers, and I will now focus on the unschooling. I have some ideas, I don't know if they will work, as I know little about unschooling. And I am not real sure of what _____ likes, but here goes.

You can take pictures of things he is doing, such as if you are studying the Atlantic coast, and learning about lighthouses, he may want to make a lighthouse, you can take pictures of its development. He can draw diagrams, showing his measurements, and the electrical structure. If he likes word games, you can scramble spelling words and have him unscramble them, or make a cross word puzzle of the words dealing with the subject you are working on. A word search of a list of words on a subject could be another game. Also give him a word search with a theme and let him discover how many words on his own he can find and create. In learning to follow directions, a treasure hunt, by hiding objects all over the house, with a clue in each one as to where the other one is. Then let him do it for the other kids, then maybe he could make a collage of what is covered. He could cut words and pictures out of newspapers and magazines, making up a story. Or if you have a print shop on your puter with graphics, he could print out some of the pictures, making a comic strip, and write in the words in the bubbles.

I gave _____ a bulletin display chart of the human anatomy, muscular, skeletal, circulatory, and respiratory system. He put it together, following the directions, then he had to take it apart, and re-put it together, without the directions, and see how well he knew it. (Be careful about the labels, as _____ became upset when his sister looked at it and the labels fell off, his OCD came out at the labels being disturbed out of his set order). I also bought him a visible man, that he is putting it together, and he can paint it for more detail, that helps learn about the human body. I found at Wal-Mart some activity books that _____ likes that had all kind of interesting facts, and fun activities that covered some of the subjects we will work on, and he has enjoyed doing those. Those can be kept for records of work done.

For history, we are wood-carving a map of the U.S., putting the major rivers and lakes on it, and a mark for the capitals, and he is going to pick a place to "visit", and then pick the path to get there, learning about the states as we "travel" through them. He is going to have to figure the mileage, estimate how much gas will be used, and the cost. How many days, and the cost of lodging, and of eats. He will have to find historical sites in each state, and learn an interesting fact. He will burn each state into the wood as we cover it. He is going to find something interesting about it on the internet and in the encyclopedia as we do each state that can be printed. This covers all kinds of subjects, history, math, geog, science, art, and language and there will be records.

If you have a bird feeder, then he could watch the birds feed, draw pictures, and learn about the birds, he could find out the differences in the sizes, learning how to judge the weight and length through comparison. He could find out which states they live in, where they winter, and their breeding and brooding area. He could learn which like fruit, which nuts and seeds, and which insects, and what ones prefer to eat at bird feeders, or on the ground, or out of holes in trees (like some woodpeckers). He might help his dad build a birdhouse and feeder, which will require measurements, and you can keep records and pictures.

There are also some computer games that are educational, that have tests that can be printed out after they have played them that you could use for records.

If you have a calculator that prints on paper, then let him figure up the bills, giving him play money, and let him add up the cost of buying groceries for dinner on a sheet of paper. He can help you plan a meal, figure the amounts of food needed, the cost of fixing it, and have the printed record. He could even do it for a week, then at the end of the week add up all the different ones, which could be taped onto a sheet of paper for records. If I come up with any more ideas, I will send them on, I hope these help you, or others can use them. You are in my prayers.

On the ideas, I have a lot of great ones, the problem is I can't get _____ to do most of them, he says they are boring. I haven't found the ones to motivate him yet. I let him pick out the subjects we were to cover, and now he says he doesn't like them. He is getting better since I have threatened to send him back to public school if he doesn't do his work. I still feel led by the Lord to home school him, and I want to do it for next year also. My family and his therapist will not be for it, but I am still seeking God's will and will do what He wants, illregardless (what a word) of what my parents, sister or the therapist thinks. My husband is for it by the way, He says that he trusts me to do what the Lord leads me to do in the area of _____.

I still have a few months to decide what to do, so I will trust in the Lord to guide me and give me the answer by the time I have to have it. I have found out tho that He likes to keep me waiting until the last minute. Do you think he is teaching me patience? Na, : )

What wonderful ideas. I think I will print them out and let _____ choose a project to get started on.

We just bought the children a pair or binoculars, and birdwatching would be a good observation project for a few weeks. We get all kinds of birds down here from up North, and then we have our own unique birds.

We unschool with _____ (11 1/2) and _____ (5 1/2). Our daughter graduated a few years ago and our oldest son is currently enrolled in a Christian high school. The main difference between _____ (add/gifted) and _____ (gifted) is that David actually does need some parent-provided framework for his day. He has even, at times, requested more structure (e.g. he requested that his father "do" math with him from a text book). The framework we provide is along the lines of "no tv on during such and such hours" or "computer time is limited to 1/2 hour/sitting" and that sort of thing. I guess it would be considered more environmental than instructional. I think that without these guidelines he sometimes finds himself at loose ends and unable to make a decision (thus gravitating to something that will soothe and not force him to decide or act).

I would like to point out that unschooling calls for as much, if not more, parental involvement than other forms of homeschooling. Also, it needs to "fit" the family and not be chosen because it works for some other family or you've been pressured into it. (I felt I needed to say that because, as in almost anything, there are some who will promote unschooling as a superior form of education and look down their noses at those who choose something different.)

There is a Christian unschooling list, Christ Centered Unschooling. You can subscribe by sending email to hub@xc.org and writing "subscribe ccu-list" in the body of the message (without the quotation marks).

First of all, thank you for taking the time to post on unschooling. I will check out the unschooling list you suggested. I feel so much better knowing another Christian mom with an ADD child is unschooling. Would you be able to share specifically how your sons days go?

I will definitely have to limit the computer time. Thanks for that advice. The children aren't allowed to watch TV except for videos and special programs.

Here is how _____ day went yesterday. He first spent about 2-1/2 hours creating machines on the computer program "The Even More Incredible Machine". I had to insist he get off. But he does learn physics concepts through this game, so it is not a waste of time.

After lunch, I asked him to find three interesting facts in "Mysteries and Marvels of Nature" (kind of like a Ripley's Believe It or Not from Usborne books). He read that book for about 30 minutes and came up with about 15 facts.

Then I challenged him to practice his multiplication tables (2x) for a few minutes. He enjoys learning multiplication. Then I asked him to practice cursive writing for a few minutes. We had some frustration here, as his hands just wouldn't cooperate with his mind. Typically, he has no problem, but he was probably getting tired and ready to just go outside and explore. So we quit.

One of his legless lizards died, so he buried him (his name was No Feet). He was pretty upset. No Feet was his favorite of the two.

He reads aloud during evening devotions. We bought him a Living Bible, and he just loves to read aloud.

BTW, he was playing his little brother's Sesame Street Make a Word game for a few minutes and took his notebook in there with him. Later in the day, he told me that he had written down some words that he didn't know how to spell yet. Now he knows them.

So although what ____ is doing is sort-of unschooling, I do provide some structure to make sure he is covering the basics. We both seem happy with this arrangement.

"Question: Call me thick or a baby at this hsing stuff, but I don't get 'unschooling'. Is this the same as doing unit studies? If not, what is it?"

Joyce Herzog responds: Unschooling is taking the lead from the interest of the children and channeling them from that into learning activities. They like to collect rocks, you teach them to look up rocks in the encyclopedia, mount, label and display their finds, and find books, games, movies, etc. about rocks. It is not having an agenda that they have to master - though you can keep it in the back of your mind for reinforcing and directing when they are at loose ends. It is letting them be at loose ends long enough to figure out what they are interested in and what they are capable of.

There are whole magazines and sites dedicated to this topic! But that is it in a nutshell.

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