Homeschooling - Part 1

NOTICE: The following posts are taken from the Christian ADHD List. The names, e-mail addresses and locations of all parties involved have been removed to protect their privacy. The posts have been used with permission, but are copyrighted by ADHD of the Christian Kind.

RE: Structure

Our kids with ADD/ADHD need structure, they need routine. I'm struck by how, after we've been away for a while, we all are eager to return to a routine. Get things going smoothly again, predictable, on an even keel. Any of this sound familiar to anyone else?

Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Let me see if I can take this further and maybe identify with what and why my child needs this structure. When I'm away from home, I feel a little strange. When I'm at my parents, I have to go with their pace, their schedule. Then when we go to my husband's parents it's another adjustment. I find I get bored easier, at home I know exactly what needs to be done, I don't always do it, but I know what needs to be done, or what I can do. At someone else's home, I have to look, and even kinda guess what I could do that would not interfere with the activities of they have planned or are involved in.

Ahhhhhhhh, things are starting to be clearer to me. I've really never thought about things from this angle before. I, as an adult, have learned the rules of conduct, have learned how to handle my anxieties in an acceptable way. I've learned how to cope with stressful situations. I'm pretty good at reading people, their changes in tone of voice, body language, mannerisms, etc. But these are things we had to learn, we are not born with this knowledge, some of us are better than others at it, but none the less, it's learned. Now if I try to focus on that aspect, realizing that my child has a medical problem, even though I do not fully understand it, I can get a better understanding of how every new situation may cause my child to feel stressed and anxious. Why he thrives in a consistent environment is much easier to see. Now that I have a new understanding, hopefully I will be able to look for ways to make my child more comfortable in the unstructured or unfamiliar situations.

I really do agree with this entire concept. In preparing to homeschool for the first time next fall I have spent a lot of time at aol keyword: Homeschool. Lots of wonderful information there, but also quite a few people who like to homeschool without any structure at all. And, I am sitting here thinking I must be weird because I just have this gut feeling that this won't work for us.

I have been knocking around some ideas, but most of them have been on how to make it more and more structured. I have also come up with a vague plan for a ticket system in which both children will receive tickets for timely, not complained about, completed chores and work. They will be able to use their tickets for tv time, computer time, swimming time, summer movie time (we have .75 cent summer movies in our area), and during the school year they will also have to earn field trips with their tickets. I still need to figure out the worth of a ticket and how ticket they earn, but I am slowly getting there.

If anyone else is already doing this or has some good ideas they would be greatly appreciated. My two kids, _____-ADD and _____, got out of school last Thursday and this is the first summer that they have not been in some sort of summer program and home all day. This was, of course, on purpose. I cut back my work load in order to homeschool next fall with summer as a preparation time of "getting to know each other", and also hopefully settle into a routine of sorts that will easily blend into homeschooling in the fall.

It is funny you sent this column today. Earlier today I was thinking about how ADD/ADHD kids are supposed to need structure. Thanks for sharing your column with us. And no, I don't think you are kind of slow, so to speak. I am still trying to figure out how to actually have some structure and routine in our home. I am very unpredictable myself, and don't like to get boxed into having to do something at a certain time, so I tend to veer away from schedules (major character flaw in me I think). I know this causes much friction between _____ and myself when I suddenly announce that we are going to clean all morning when he already decided to build something, or play outside.

I need to set up regular cleaning and chore times, regular meal times, and regular play times earned by completing chores and school in a timely manner. But, oh my, this will take so much discipline on my part. I guess it is time to grow up and do what is right.

Subj: Flexibility in schooling methods vs. giving in to child's whims too much

Well, we have completed three days of school and I am TIRED!!!!! Every morning when we are starting, I have to get my husband to talk _____ into doing school. I have told him today that if he doesn't change his attitude, I will send him to school (and I mean it). It is just so exhausting fighting with his attitudes.

He whines that he never gets to play, do what he wants, etc. He complains that he can't do it, it takes too long, he hates school.

Just so you know, we are doing two subjects: math (Saxon with reduced Meeting Time) and read-aloud with vocabulary and character study. If _____ just followed along, we could be done in 1-1/2 hours (or less). As it is now, it takes about 3 hours, and I have cut out all written work for _____ except for his math worksheet.

I think I have failed to train _____ in a work ethic. I am not very good at getting my children to work at home. I read somewhere that if I do not look happy and joyful at doing my work around the house, how can I expect my children to have good attitudes about doing work around the house. I need more structure for myself, and then maybe I can help the children become more structured in their time. Any help or suggestions would be helpful.

I know that I fall into that catagory myself of not being structured and getting done what needs to be. So, I started off with some chores for my kids, but am also making sure that I am getting some cleaning done as well.

For us this is a new practice, so I don't how well it will do over the long run, or if it will work for your kids. I am in the process of setting up a ticket system. Tickets will be given for chores that are done without complaining and very little reminding. Tickets will also be given for school that is done in the same way (when we actually start homeschooling). The tickets will be used for privaledges - tv time, computer time, summer movies, field trips, swimming pool, etc. I haven't actually gotten myself together enough for the tickets yet, but so far the kids have been checking off their chores as they have completed them and are excited about the ticket idea even though they haven't gotten any yet =).

Boy I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes,reading and feeling your frustration. I really understand _____. I'm there. As you know this was _____'s first year back after homeschooling for 3 years, and I know what you are experincing.

I don't have any wisdom to give you. I think that once you parent an ADD child , you enter into a whole new guilt arena. Am I doing the right thing for my child, for my husband, for my other children? Even when they are in school, esp. after hs, you ask yourself the same thing. I certainly won't suggest what you should do, but i'll be here for you no matter what you decide. For the next week try and get through "one day at a time" not looking at the entire week. I pray for your strength and endurance and most of all energy!!!!!! God is the source of all comfort...2cor.1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion, and theGod of all comfort who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." He is all sufficient _____, and I'm standing on this verse for my household ,which is in a shambles from the ADD. I hope you find some comfort in it.

Give yourself some adjustment time. You've only be schooling 3 days - this stint, it takes time to work into a routine. We have this problem every September. It helps me to establish a firm routine for the kids, get up at 8, eat breakfast, brush teeth, start school. I found it helpful to remind _____ that he will have the whole rest of the day to do whatever he wants if he'll just do his work now. I've also reminded him that Daddy has to get up and go to work, that this is the way everyone has to do. When he gets discouraged it's also helped to remind him that his best friend who lives just around the corner is STILL in school and will be for a long time.

I hope this is helpful to you. It can be frustrating. When he says he can't do it, is asking you to present it in a different way? Is there a way you could combine activity into the work? I've even played games like "football" for spelling. I was the goal, the spelling words were the ball, if he spelled it right orally then he'd get a "touchdown" otherwise he'd be offsides and have to try again. This worked. Manipulatives are very useful for _____ also.

Most of all, give yourself a break. Don't expect everything to be perfect so quickly. I have even gone so far as to say, "OK, do half of the page and you can get a small snack and drink" this gives him a breather and me a few seconds to recollect myself. I don't personally think you're giving into indulgences if you are the one structuring and just being sensitive to his needs. Remeber, he picks up all your emotions too. I realize there's a fine line between loose structure and laziness sometimes, but as long as you acheive the work for the day, then I count it as a success. It may also be helpful for you to have a book to read while he's doing work alone. That way you're available to him if he needs you but you're not bored and frustrated at the other things you need to spend your time doing.

I guess I need to count my blessings. _____ just seems to accept summer school without question. I'm doing the same thing with a reduced work load for the summer. I do think it helps to not listen or respond to the complaints. Yesterday I made him write a 100 word essay on obeying and I told him that if he argued I'd add 100 words and if he complained I'd not allow him to play in the afternoon. He never said a word, just began to write. This is so opposite from the way _____ has always been in the past. The important thing is that he knows I mean it and that I will follow through. Consistancy and follow through are my motto! _____ hates to write but I've noticed that he is getting much better at it. Bottom line is that I used to listen to his compliants and I think I even whinned a bit myself. Now, I state the facts and only add to the essay if he argues or throws a fit. It takes more time on my part but I stand by my word. I will pray for your patience and strength. YOU CAN DO IT! And you do it because you love him.

We are starting our third year of homeschooling (counting kindergarten) and have found that a book for each subject was to much for _____ to handle. We have switched to Konos and Amanda Bennett unit studies to cover everything except math (I use Saxon for _____ and BJU for _____). I did pick up BJU english/spelling at the home school convention to make sure I covered all my bases. I'm always a little insecure in this area. The unit studies work great because we can go to the library, go on a field trip, make an art project to learn from, etc. The kids usually do not consider it "schooling" at all and we can have fun together without the "_____ sit down and open your workbook" line that I used to repeat over and over again!

Personally I love KONOS! The unit study method seems to work great for all 3 of my kids, it draws them into the learning and helps them retain information for much longer. Instead of just reading or listening, doing workbooks, whatever, unit studies draw the kids in and make them active in the learning process. I don't know about other unit studies, but I would assume that they are all interactive.

I believe all unit studies are activity-centered and hands-on, although the US's I created for my highschooler had more research and reading than activities.

I would like to really ask all of you to help us with this topic. I think we have a veritable gold mine here with all the ADHD homeschoolers. There is nearly no information out there on how to homeschool our children because of their distractibility and high energy.

We found what worked best with both our kids (one is ADHD) is the relaxed schooling method (unschooling) combined with the Charlotte Mason approach and some guidance from unit studies.

We begin our day with Christian Character curriculum which only takes a few minutes. Our math is mostly computer and real math (grocery store, cooking, etc) with a few drills. We read a chapter in the morning from a living history book and then another chapter in the evening from a classic. Then both kids are on their own to learn about science. We provide lots of books, ideas, and resources and let them go from their.

_____ (9, ADHD) knows just about everything about the pond on our property and can tell you about almost any animal that lives. If it's science, he's doing it--very hands on. _____, though, prefers to read about her science and both love to get into studying maps and such.

New statistics are saying that anyone who can read is in the top 10% nationally. My children can read and balance a checkbook, so they are already achieving more than many HS graduates; and it they need information, they know where to go look for it. Anything else is just frosting on the cake as far as public education is concerned.

We had another homeschool family over for supper last night, so that I could show the mom share curriculum stuff. They are such a neat family and have 3 boys near the ages of our three boys. I had a good time, but at the end of the evening felt discouraged when I was heading to bed, thinking of how I have been unable to homeschool _____. I often serve as a resource person to others on how to homeschool, but can't do with my own son. And this next fall will be my 14th year of homeschooling! Humbling stuff for me. But that is the way it is right now.

Hi! My son is seven years old and I've just noticed his symptoms of ADHD within the past month. I've been home schooling him for two years, going on number three in a couple of weeks. I also home school his 13 year old brother and ten year old sister. The curriculum that I've been using with _____ (my 7 year old) seems to have worked fine. My greatest success has been with the more hands-on type materials, although he CAN accomplish short workbook exercises (especially those with lots of color and pictures). For kindergarten we used "Alphabet Connections" which we purchased from a local school supply store. It has unit studies centered around the letters of the alphabet and each letter is associated with an animal (For example: "A"--Alligator Ann and various exercises centering around "A" things such as apples).

Our first grade year was mostly a hodge-podge collection of materials left from his older siblings and my own gathered materials from the library. THIS year I'm very excited to be using Five In A Row materials which are unit studies for children ages 5-8 that are centered around classic children's literature. As I plan our lessons, I foresee this material to be wonderful for _____ who loves to read and draw, and there is plenty of opportunity for that in this curriculum. FIAR also uses the same book for an entire week, reading it in entirety every day and so by Friday, he'll most likely have it down!! Hope this inspires someone...I know I've enjoyed the inspiration provided from each of you!!

Regarding home schooling technique.....I've found that reward systems work good in the home school realm, too. I give _____ the opportunity to earn points (stars, chips, play money, WHATEVER you use) for good conduct, accomplishments (such as completing his class in some designated time frame), and good grades (which includes neatness, etc.). He's pretty easy-going and not always demanding costly prizes (although I do include these occasionally). Sometimes, just earning 15 minutes of tossing the football with mom will be enough to encourage the desired response!!

One technique that did NOT work for us was a competition that one of our texts encouraged in which he would take a speed drill, record the number right on a graph, and then repeat the procedure the next day (and the next,and the next).....I found _____ to get thoroughly defeated if he didn't increase his score EVERY time he took the test. Competition....even with himself.....is definitely NOT an effective way to encourage him!!

Updated January 23, 1998

RE: A Homeschool Reflection

Well, this week went pretty well. We had one really hard day where neither _____ or _____ wanted to do anything, but I feel as long as a stick to my guns and that there will be no playing until we are done they will figure out soon enough that getting it done quickly is the easiest route for everyone. Thursday was by far the best day. _____ (ADD) was done with his work within an hour and _____ took a little bit longer; but because _____ got done right away I was able to spend more one on one time with her.

So far our schedule looks like this (we have been at this for four weeks now) - We work four days a week and have a field trip day, usually Friday. Tuesday and Thursday work load is a little bit more than Monday and Wednesday, just to give some variance to our routine. My plan is to school year round, I worked out a nine month, four day a week, schedule to complete one grade of work. This actually doesn't work out to too much work per day and if the kids sit down and get busy they can be done within 1 to 1 1/2 hours. We also have a bible time right before we start the actual school work. We are using a book called Every Day With God. It has actual bible passages from the International Children's Bible version and goes through most of the bible in one years time.

We haven't been really good about getting our chores done so I asked the kids to pick a time that they would like to do them. I gave them several options and they chose to do them right after breakfast and before sitting down to work. I am hoping that because that is what they chose that there will be less fussing about getting them done (we are only talking about making beds, vacuuming, and taking out trash).

Today (Friday) we were able to go the beach. The kids had a wonderful time and so did I. I really like the beach, but I don't like going when it is really crowded and busy. It was very nice and relaxing without too many people there. _____ has been getting a big kick (and learning as well) with watching the driveways in our condo complex being torn out. They were not done up to code when they were put in originally, so now they are tearing everything out and and redoing it. Needless to say we have to park a mile away (just kidding) and walk forever to go anywhere, but I guess it is all worth it. Because of this our swimming pool is closed until the road work is done, so it was nice for the kids to get to play in the surf at the beach. One of my big things about homeschooling was telling the kids that we would have time to still go swimming even after all the other kids had to go back to school. Oh well, there is always next year! We have been using the tennis court, however, and I am really amazed at how well _____ is doing. We are all getting our exercise (boy am I tired) and have a great time as well.

Next Tuesday our homeschool group is meeting to go to the _____ Fair. I am really looking forward to going with the kids and we get in free with the group. Well, I guess that is about it for now, just thought I would take a few moments to share what it has been like so far.

"Thanks for sharing this with us. I had many requests for practical "How do you do it?" ideas, especially for homeschooling. Could I ask if you are using a textbook approach, unit studies, or eclectic approach to hsing?"

First of all it amazes me that others find our expereinces amazing! LOL! I just want to reiterate that we have just start doing this for the first time. The curriculum that I chose is from School of Tomorrow. The kids work through PACE's (work books about 30 - 40 pages long) in English, Math, Science, Social Studies, and Word Building. Spelling is found in the Word Building PACE's and there is a lot of reading in Science and Social Studies. Of course, they are also supposed to be reading on their own, but since neither of them "like" to read I am reading to them from different sources as well.

Scheduled seems to work best for us. I know that this is not for everyone, but it works for us. I also have some Unit Studies on order from GCB. Right now I have started with some of the Adventure Series ones, but would also like to do the Little House on the Praire Unit Study.

This year, we have decided to take _____ (9) and _____ (6) off their meds. WOW.. what a time we've had. Our homeschool schedule has changed in many ways. We used to just get done when we got done... kept going only stopping for lunch (the kids liked this because they were 'free' earlier). But now this year, without meds, we have a lot of breaks (mom NEEDS these!!). I have given them each a 30 minute break sometime in the morning hours, before 10:30, then we all take an hour for lunch. This gives me plenty of time to clean up and be ready to help them again, without me feeling like I just finished eating. I usually try to eat while I'm making their lunch, so when they start to eat, I can start to clean. I have also been known to grab a 20 minute nap so I'm prepared to deal with things a bit better.

_____ is really having a hard time staying in his seat. So I have allowed him to do his reading time in the living room where he can get comfy. But the frustration is watching his handwriting and coloring skills really suffer... without the meds, he looks like he's in kindergarten, not second grade! We work on neatness.. but he gets so frustrated... I don't know what to do other than just let it go. (suggestions would be great!! =) _____ is doing well off the meds.. and is doing calligraphy this year. I was really suprised to see his work!! WOW!! He's my day dreamer.. so as long as I put him in a seat where he can't look out the window, we are ok. =) _____ becomes distracted by me grading workbooks, so I wait to do that after they are done. Not the way I like to do it, but that's ok... we all have to compromise with this. I'm anxious to get them on something to help with the ADD, but their bio mom (me the step-mom) has them on Juice Plus... and says it should help.. we shall see. I'm still in the process of taking _____ off his meds.. we are on 10 mg (was 65mg) of dexadrine, and hopefully will run out of pills soon!!!

As for school, I homeschool too. I learned with _____, and am now having to relearn again with _____, to allow them to reap natural consequences. When they wouldn't be able to do their work it used to frustrate me and I'd get stressed out. I have other responsibilities too, other than just school (sound familiar?)! The solution came out of desperation. I knew I was causing more harm than good making them sit there and hollering at them to get to work, "stay on task", but I couldn't just let them off the hook and reinforce the negative. So, I started calmly saying, before I got super frustrated, "you know what, you aren't paying attention right now, I don't have time to sit here with you and wait till you're ready to work, go to your room until you are REALLY ready to sit here and get the work done". When they returned we started back to work, if they STILL were not paying attention they went back to their room. During this time, I worked on the kitchen or living room or just general housekeeping things. When they finally did do the work I would stay with them so I could answer any questions for them, and when they were finished I told them, "I'm glad you are finished, I'm proud of you for getting yourself under control. I just want to mention to you that you could have been outside playing, or whatever you wanted to do today an hour (or however long it took) earlier, that's how much time you wasted of your own free time by not focusing on your work." Slowly they started not wanting to waste time and made sure they did they're work in a no nonsense approach. Things are better now. I'm not sure to this day who really learned more, me or the kids.

I have been doing this as well, especially with my daughter but also with my son. I am sorry, but I am busy as all of us moms are. I let my children know that I am more than willing to sit with them while they work to help with questions etc, but that my time is valuable and that if they are not willing to work then I am not willing to sit with them and listen to their whinning. They haven't gotten to where they totally understand the consequences of their lost time yet, but I think we are getting there.

"I give him very short assignments, with very little writing at this time. We do most of his work orally: he may read something aloud and we will do the exercises together orally. For example, instead of having him do two pages of phonics work, we will go over the concept together, do the first page orally, discussing problems and then maybe have him do about 10 minutes of written work just so I have something on paper and to help him learn to work independently."

I have also been letting _____ do a lot of oral work and have even been doing some of his reading for him outloud. He can do both of these tasks (Reading and Writing) very well, but he really hates it. This has made getting his work down a lot easier for both of us. The problem that I am having is that _____ is 6 and needs more one on one attention because she is still accomplishing learning to read, and it makes it hard when both of them want 100% of my attention. We did have a discussion about how I am there for both of them, but when one is needing one on one the other one should be doing something on their own. It went well yesterday, so we will see.

Continue to Homeschooling - Part 2

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