Homeschooling the ADHD Child
Structuring the Homeschool
NOTICE: The following posts are taken from the Christian ADHD Homeschoolers List. The names, e-mail
addresses and locations of all parties involved have been
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Kind.
>>I would always love to hear your advice about structuring our
homeschooling home, as I'm sure others would, too.<<
As an ADD mom myself, I hear your struggles and I feel your pain! Things
have been better for me lately, sometimes I backslide but I try to get back
on schedule as soon as I can.I took a class from a friend of mine who is a
professional organizer and it helped me immensely! Both of my boys thrive
on structure, so that helps me some. The best thing that I've learned so far
is to make lists. Of everything. I know this is easy for most, but with ADD
it's hard to follow a list, sometimes you almost feel resentful, you know?
But.....lists work. I keep a running list of notes of what I need to do. I
used to put those little yellow stickies all over the place, but now I
consolodate all my reminders to a notebook. I also keep phone messages, some
numbers, things I may need in the future, sometimes even where I put
something just in case I think I may forget!
For my kids and my husband, we have a running grocery list on the
fridge, if there's something we run out of or are low on, put it on the list
for our next shopping trip. Forgot to put it on mom's list? Then DON"T
expect me to remember!
If I give my kids a list, they're pretty good about following it. For
school, I list what needs to be done each day for each child. This way, they
know what to expect and when their school day will be done. I also put on
there things I think they'll forget like to feed the frog, etc. I have
little boxes on there that they check as they go. We also have a file box
for each child, because I just can't deal with all those papers coming in
from all sources.....Sunday school, home school, Lego magazines, sales
flyers, scout stuff, etc. So they have a file with each category on it so
they sort their own stuff and have a place to put it. It's very important to
have a home for each item. So when we get new things, such as a toy, I tell
them to find a 'home' for it, so next time they'll know where to put it.
(for them to remember on thier own is another matter, but it helps for now!)
I made a list on my computer for when we go camping or traveling for
each of them with check boxes on it. Makes my job easier to print off a list
and hand it to them. If they forget an item, they have to deal with , say,
no underwear for the weekend.
A weekly chore list is good also. And if you don't think you can make
and/or enforce the list, let dad or someone else be responsible for the
follow up.
I've heard of someone that even makes a list for thier chores, for
example, if the chore is to clean the bathroom, write out: pick up all
items, spray counters, wipe counters, dry counters, spray toilet, wipe
toilet, dry toilet, put back all items that may have been moved around for
cleaning, sweep floor, return all items to their 'homes', do a final walk
through and make sure you didn't miss anything, get mom for inspection.
After awhile they don't need the list anymore, it eventually becomes a
mental list. (I know I used this method in my own job managing a restaurant
as far as what I had to do to open, to close, etc. and eventually I could
run through the list in my head.) You can make a list for cleaning their own
rooms, as this job is a little overwhelming for some ADDers. Such as: pick
up clothes, put dirty in hamper, put clean in drawers, close all drawers,
etc, etc.
Reading your post gave me a great idea! We, too, use lists but until now
we've just been making them on a yellow pad of paper. Both my boys *love* to
make their daily lists of what they're going to do. Being unschoolers, I
don't enforce that they follow them, but I find that most times they do
unless they get 'stuck' on one thing. Then they're usually learning so much
that I can't complain.
Anyway, reading your post gave me the idea that I need to get a separate
calendar book for each boy. That way they can each "keep" their own list. It
also starts to give them ownership of organizing their own schedule, though
they're years away from being able to do that completely on their own. It
also gives me a handy documentation for our homeschool days. I've been
struggling how to keep all the pages organized. Three-hole punching them in
a binder just gets too bulky too quickly. And, it starts them learning an
important life skill -- how to organize their time and keep track of events.
I think I'll even try to keep the calendar's up to date for their various
appointments, classes, etc. As they get older they can start making notes in
them on other things they did during the day....hmmmm, I'm getting lots of
good ideas and just in time for the new year.
Re: lists, my ultr-organized friend puts her kids' lists of everything
possible they might need to do that day in plastic binder sheets. Then
daily she uses a wax pencil to mark what they need to do that day, and the
kid marks it off with wax as it's done. It's all erasable for the next day.
I thought that's a great idea, but being ADD, I have to figure out where to
buy a wax pencil and where to keep it to find it the next day....(LOL!)
I don't believe I ever said it was easy with ADD kids with or without the
H. And just to let you know, we stopped "school" for 6 weeks in order to
train everyone on our new "jobs". My mom had a fit when she realized we
weren't having "school" until we gave the "class" a name. We have gotten
into the habit of not letting everyone know everything going on in our
house. Sounds real sneaky, but we have a lot of nosey, I'm sorry,
"concerned", church members who are constantly quizzing our children. Does
anyone have any advice on how to avoid these questions politely?
Hi, I'm a mother of two sons both have. The oldest has ADHD and doing good in public school. He likes being with his classmates. He's 16 and in high school. Now for the one that I do homeschool. His all most 12 (1-12-1992) and very strong willed. I fell like I can't teach him any more, he just doesn't want to leaner, unless dad teaches him. But dear hubby works over ten hours days, and then some. Dear hubby is self employed. I don't have my sons on med.'s because my oldest sons dad from drugs ( COC***)
This is how I would like things to go.
6:00-7:00AM get up, practice twice through on interments, eat, and get showered- cleaned up - teeth too.
7:00 -7:30AM exercise
7:30 - 8:00AM Prayers - Rosary
8:00 - 9:00 AM Religion
9:00 - 10:00 AM Reading - Assignment & Free reading " BOOK IT "
10:00 - 11:00 AM Math - Assignment & Math puzzle or game
11:00 - 12:00 AM History
12:00 - 1:00 PM Lunch
1:00 - 2:00 PM English
2:00 - 3:00 PM Science
3:00 - 3:15 PM Typing
3:15 - 3:30 Study Skills, Art, Music
3:30 - 4:00 PM EWTN or other religion show
4:00 - 5:30 PM Play Time with friends or what ever
5:30 - 6:30 PM Supper
6:00 - 7:30 PM Indoor Play time - TV * * *
7:30 - 8:30 PM Homework
8:30 - 9:00 PM Get ready for bed - bath, teeth.
There are exception to this schedule, Scouts - ILCC Talent Search - Music Lessons * * *
Now for the way things usually go on, on a Tuesday in January.
Hubby gets up about 5:00- 5:30 AM and spend some quiet time for himself.
Hubby go's up and wakes up the youngest about 6:00AM but ____ doesn't want to get up and ask dad for 5 more minutes so hubby leave the light on and gets his shower and est.*** .
Then Hubby goes and get ____ up and the oldest is up and rolling his paper to go out on his route by now it's 6:30AM and hubby and ____ are eating breakfast.
____ gets his shower
It's about 7:00AM and I'am just getting up. I get a cup of coffee or water check my E-Mail and get ready to teach my youngest son.
Oldest comes back from his route and took off for early bird classes at public high school.
7:30 and hubby took off for work, I start my streaks and try to round _______ up to start school. Ya Good Luck, this is when the whining, and pouting comes in. So we end up going off task big time, he goes and hides or start yelling at me "I didn't get **** done.
It's about 8:30AM so we try to start Reading - Analogies is what we're working on this quarter.
10:00 - 11:00 AM Math - SOS pc Assignment.
11:00 - 12:00 AM History
12:00 - 1:00 PM Lunch
1:00 - 2:00 PM English
2:00 - 3:00 PM Science
3:30 _____ goes off to piano lessons,
4:45- 5:30 Wresting practice,
6:00 - 8:00PM Talent search through the college, then _____ comes home and he rolls his paper and delivers them,
9:00 PM Get ready for bed - bath, teeth .
10;00PM I go up to the boys rooms and give them a hug and tell my sons love you and good night then I shut their bedroom doors. Then I go to bed bed.
Most of the subjects I don't have too much trouble with. My son hates Penmanship, English, and Spelling. Those subjects I have trouble with and the transient between the subjects or activities is hard.
Thank you, ________, for your help. I appreciate your understanding words, and
yes, I've made a thousand terrific systems but USING them is the challenge!
But, I have to say, I must be having one of the strangest weeks of my life.
This morning I tried to respond to an email from a missionary in _____
about a SURPRISE for her husband's birthday, and although I hit "Reply" to
her message, it went to her husband's email instead! My Outlook Express
must have "read" the last name and switched to the other email address
without my noticing. HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN??? (In the words of ________,
excuse the yelling!) It took me 40 minutes to call around and get their
phone number in _____, and to call and ask her to intercept the email. I
was so overwrought it never occurred to me that HE would answer the phone
and recognize my voice. So, I tried to disguise my voice (that really pulled
the rug over his eyes -- I'm a terrible liar) and I didn't even say hello to
him but asked only to speak to her (although he's the one I know). After
never once calling them in _____ in 25 years, the first time I call he
probably recognized my voice and I didn't even say hello to him ... although
I had intercepted the email, the phone call was just as bad. So, the dear
pioneer missionary who has given his life (and the death of one child) to
evangelizing muslims in a closed country is turning 50, he's 1/2 way around
the world from his "home," and I've ruined his birthday surprise. What does
that have to do with ADHD? Everything! I've heard that other people take
a moment to THINK before they act! I was then 40 minutes late to the
neighborhood Biblestudy that I facilitate. Since I wasn't there they were
almost done. I arrive in tears from humiliation about my ADHD
lifestyle....but I guess when one is crying, others soften up and do too,
and everyone connected. (Actually, I was in tears at the last Biblestudy
too, and everyone got alot closer that day, too.....but it always seems at
the expense of my own humiliation about whatever I've currently done, as
others are so under control they have nothing so embarrassing to deal
with....)
Are there any studies showing that ADHD HSing moms die early?
Maybe dying of embarassment! I've been there, done that. But I"ve found that
while others have seen my faults and silliness, they're also the ones who
can point out my good traits better than myself (such as energetic,
creative, multi tasking, and believe it or not......some say they can't
believe how organized I am!!! Boy, have I pulled the wool over their
eyes.....)
Sorry to hear of your bad week, I wish I had more time this morning so I
could share some of the 'spontaneous' things I"ve done (and especially some
of the things I've SAID!). But I"ll bet if you ask around, everyone (adhd or
not) has some sort of embarassing story to tell.... Praying that next week will be better!
I died laughing your e-mail!!! My son said, "Mom, what is it?"
Your e-mail is great. What a way to spend a day. No there are no studies
to say that HSing moms die early but there are several studies to say that
if we laugh 10 minutes a day we get healthier. Just know you are loved and
appreciated and thanks for the sense of humor. I hope that you know that
God is using you and your humility!!!
Has anyone seen the news reports of the little boy who climbed into the
vending machine and got stuck? No, he is not mine but I had to laugh
and then cry at the news reports of this little guy stuck in this
machine! I kept thinking 'there but by the grace of God' - How many of
us have had a day that they were sure would make the evening news?
I don't know about the evening news (I couldn't live with the
embarrassment!), but I've often thought they couldn't write a soap opera
with more drama, than what's happening at our place!
The past two days have been challenging, his schedule was changed due to a dentist appointment and everyone has suffered for it. Since he was 2months old, any change in schedule would result in unwelcome attitude. I think it is just part of his adhd. I have just bought MOTH (managers of their homes) to try to help with schedules. I am just not organized enough to put down when I need to eat, and when he needs to play(it changes day to day). I am going to ge the book back out and try it again. I just can't see how every little thing can be scheduled.
I bought MOTH over two years ago. Due to my own ADD I just finished my
schedule a couple of weeks ago. But I can say it was worth it!!! We have
accomplished more school in last week and this than we did in some months
before MOTH! I have some suggestions -
1) Don't get bogged down in the process. This is what I did. Just do it.
The MOTH book was great. But I lack the organization to do it the way they
suggest. So when I had my copies made of the Master Schedule Worksheet I
had them laminated and wrote the schedule directly on it with a Vis-AVis pen
Yes I had to erase and redo. But I actually got it done that way when I
could never get it done with all the little squares.
2) Don't schedule too much! Make a prettty loose schedule the first time.
It is much easier to add things than rearrange and add more time to a
specific task.
3) Schedule more time than you think you will need for a task. Again it is
easier to add tasks than schedule more time for one.
4) Don't be a perfectionist! My schedule is far from perfect. In fact it
needs some good tweaking because since I am using the schedule pretty
religiously if it isn't on the schedule it doesn't get done! It makes me
realize where some of my time goes. But it has to be on the schedule in
order for it to get done.. But even the way it is I accomplish so much more
Not only that the children are so much more cooperative since they now
know what comes next and my ADHD son realizes from the schedule school will
end if he will just focus and get his work done. My struggle with him
become 1000 percent easier since the schedule! He isn't perfect by any
means. He still squirms and gets distracted. But because we switch
subjects and tasks frequently he can't take 3 hours to do his 30 minute math
lesson because I have only allowed 45 minutes and after that we move on and
he has to finish in his free time!
5) If a full day is too difficult to finish...just schedule your morning and
add to it as your day and week progress. Take notes about when you do
things now and put them on the schedule. Add to your schedule consistently
but in small chunks if it is easier for you.
6) I had to make more than one schedule due to my life. Adjust the
packaged program" to your life and individualize it!
I have to be the MOST disorganized person you would ever meet. So don't
think this came natural to me. Literally it took me two years of getting
out the schedule, looking at it, getting overwhelmed after a day or two,
putting it away and trying again in a few months. Finally I tossed the
squares, worksheets etc. and just took a vis-a-vis pen and the laminated
schedule and started writing!
>>I have to be the MOST disorganized person you would ever meet. So don't think this came natural to me. Literally it took me two years of getting out the schedule, looking at it, getting overwhelmed after a day or two, putting it away and trying again in a few months. Finally I tossed the squares, worksheets etc. and just took a vis-a-vis pen and the laminated schedule and started writing!<<
You sound a lot like me. :-)
One of the difficulties we have with scheduling is that our kids are at an age where things change, and sometimes they change quickly. Our 16yo, started working at McD's a few months ago. They added two more classes to my schedule at work (from teaching 1 class MWF to teaching 3 MWF) and asked me Monday if I'd consider taking a MWF study hall, too.
Thankfully, my son's managers agreed to fit his MWF schedule around my MWF schedule. They've had him working 10am-4pm MW and 4pm-midnight F. I've been teaching 9:30am-1pm and will be changing to 9:30am-2pm.
The time I have between when we start work is fine. I just drop him off early. The time on MW between when I get off and when he gets off I use to sit at McD's and do my grading.
I need to implement the vis-a-vis and laminated schedules for the three who are at home doing their schoolwork and chores while I'm teaching at ____ Academy. I think that would make it much easier for them to get things done during the day.
And speaking of work, it's nearly time to leave. I think that perhaps I need to schedule in time to catch up on email. :-/
One of the reasons it took me so long to make the schedule is my life is
EXTREMELY complicated! Anyway that _____ and
wait made it difficult to get the homeschooling done for the boys. Finally
though I figured out a way. I even hung a copy of our morning and afternoon
schedule for the days we drive in the van so everyone knows what they are
supposed to be doing.
And yes I did schedule email/computer time because like I said if it isn't
on the schedule it doesn't get done anymore! It isn't perfect. We have
yet to actually accomplish our Spanish or Keyboarding which are on the
schedule. But daily the schedule is a reminder that those are goals for my
boys. Partly I need to take time to install the typing and Spanish software
on the computer so they can do them. I will likely do that this weekend so
we can begin those subjects next week.
As for making it easier for the children to get things done - it does! In
fact it is especially helpful if they are old enough to give some input into
what order they want to do their subjects in and what extras they want to
learn etc. If they have input into the schedule they follow it more
willingly.
Spanish I can't help with. Keyboarding I can. When I was in high school, I
had a typing book (granted, it was for the OOOLLLDDD typewriters) that had a
clear, full-size picture of the keyboard. Well, I rode the bus for 45 min
one way. My teacher suggested making a lifesize copy of the keyboard. It
really worked. I could put it on a table, book, desk, whatever and sit and
"type". I can still sit at the table w/o the keyboard, and "type".
What a really good idea! I can 'type' on a table - I learned this after someone asked me a crossword puzzle question and I 'typed' the answer out.
What a GREAT use of those old "trash" keyboards many folks have lying around!!!
Our schedule is fairly flexible. Dh and I get up between 5:30am and 6:00am. Any children who aren't up by 7am, I start rousting. The rest of the day goes pretty much as follows:
8:00-9:00am - animals and chores
9:00-noon - School Work
Noon-1:00pm - lunch break
1:00-2:00pm - chores
2:00-4:00pm - complete any unfinished school work (free time once school work is done)
4:00-5:00pm - Relax
5:00-7:00pm - help with dinner prep, work on chores
7:00-7:30pm - feed animals
7:30pm - Dinner (we have a late dinner because ____ doesn't get in from work until then)
8:00-9:00pm - family, Bible, talking with each other (the 16yo currently hates the Bible portion of this)
9:00-10:00pm - bedtime
_____, _____, and _____ also have a schedule for who's doing what chores on what day. _____ is expected to help wherever help is needed when he's home from work.
Monday - _____ has kitchen and dining room; _____ has hall, living room, and classroom and cooks lunch; _____ has bathroom, laundry room, laundry.
Tuesday - _____ has kitchen and dining room; ______ has bathroom, laundry room, and laundry; _____ babysits all day.
Wednesday - _____ has kitchen and dining room; _____ has hall, living room, and classroom and cooks lunch; _____ has bathroom, laundry room, and laundry (YEAH! She catches up anything with which the boys have gotten behind).
Thursday - _____ has kitchen and dining room; _____ has hall, living room, and classroom; and _____ has bathroom, laundry room, and laundry.
Friday - _____ has kitchen and dining room; _____ has hall, living room, and classroom and cooks lunch; _____ has bathroom, laundry room, and laundry.
Saturday - _____ has kitchen and dining room; _____ has hall, living room, and classroom, and _____ has bathroom, laundry room, and laundry. She again plays catchup on anything the boys have let get behind.
I'm thinking of printing out the Fly Lady lists for each room and laminating them. That should help the kids get things done more thoroughly.
Actually we found a computer typing thing at a garage sale that I think
will work. for the van. However it seems we are always doing something more
urgent in the van....like phonics or math. But that is getting better with
our schedule So maybe typing is a good thing to put on the schedule for the
van! Thanks! Now I just need to find the time to change the schedule and
show ds how the typing thing works so he can do it alone in the van!
The worst problem I have with homeschooling is self-discipline. This is
where my ADHD kicks in! The kids know if they can distract me with the
computer or TV before we start school or while on a break, they've got lots
of free time.
The best part is that I can have my kids with me all day and know what they
are learning and the values I want them to learn. When we have a bad day,
we try to work it out as a family and make allowances for each other and
"keep the meat and leave the bones". We learn what we can and move on.
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