Homeschooling the ADHD Child
Overwhelmed
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Kind.
We have a 17 year old who is trying medication and seems to be
doing better.
I am homeschooling two other children and I seem to feel overwhelmed
all the time....at the point of tears. I am ADD myself.
I have tried medication but I feel
depressed and flat on it. I'm worried about side effects.
I go to the doctor today and I am praying for wisdom and direction.
We just got back from vacation, the house needs to be put in order,
my husband and I are trying a new eating plan...he wants to lose
40 pounds. We have a ton of snow and the kids can't get out
to play for too long. Everyone seems like they need to get out.
But the worst part is that I keep going back and forth on this
medication thing. I took it before Christmas and then was so
depressed on it I went off of it....on vacation I did fine but then
in the routine of life I'm struggling. I still feel frustrated with the
kids. Most of all I can't concentrate or stay with anything very
long....so much is left undone.
Has anyone out there felt this way and found a solution that is
helpful? I have doubts that I am doing the best I can. I seem
to be less on top of things than ever and my kids are experiencing
me being crabby. I don't mean to be....I just need time alone to
organize my thoughts, organize my home, organize my life and
my kids life.
I felt that medication was a scary thing and then not using it is
making it hard....please pray for wisdom for me. I'm struggling so
much.
I hope the doctor was able to help you today. Remember - they are
practictioners - they practice!! As for meds, please remember that it is
trial & error to find the right med for the right person. I am wondering if
you are suffering with depression as a result of the med or are you just
depressed? I have been on 3 different meds for depression. The best that I
have used is Prozac. I did not realize a person could feel so good until I
was on it for a couple of weeks. I actually felt like getting up & doing
something!
The other thing that came to my rescue is the fly lady. I always hesitate
to mention her - but she seemed to be a great answer for me. There is a web
site www.flylady.com. She gives guidance in getting our house organized etc.
I went through a spell where my mind just couldn't decide what to do & when
or how to do it. This web site saved my sanity. I began with just the tiny
babysteps, did 10-15 min a day...signed up for all of the email reminders &
when they came I followed through on them. It probably sounds strange- but
I feel so much better since then. I am not what they call "flying" yet -
but I do have my routines down & have even been able to homeschool my ds
that is ADHD, BP, AS, and learning disabled! That is a major miracle for
me.
I'm not a doctor. But I can repeat what the doctors say . . . .
Depending on the med, it could take up to 6 weeks for you to feel the
benefits. If you're taking effexor, don't stop that med without talking to your
doctor. That one is dangerous to quit in an unadvised fashion.
I know exactly how you feel...I have never been
diagnosed ADD but I know I am..as well as all 3 of my kids that have been put
on meds. i never asked for me..but wow..I feel so much like what you wrote.
I just feel nothing is ever done..I loose concentration so much, cant stay
focused and get very frustrated with the kids. I am such a procrastinator
also. Then I yell at the kids ..knowing that they are doing the same as me,
then I get angry with myself because I know they have no control over their
situations. This homeschool stuff is hard enough let alone us being add also.
Your in my prayers today and in the future for strength to get through your
days..and the patience to be able to take care of you first!
There is an anti-depressant which helps ADHD people with their ADHD while
addressing the depression. Wellbutrin is an excellent anti-depressant and
might be worth asking your dr. about.
They have a new Wellbutrin that you only have to take once a day instead of
twice a day.
Sounds like you have underlying depression along with your ADHD. This is
not uncommon.
Stimulants are actually contraindicated in people with depression and severe
anxiety. If you read the informational pamphlet that comes with Ritalin,
for instance, it indicates that it should not be taken by someone with
depression. It can make it worst.
You might want to just try different medications until you find the
right one for you. I certainly can relate to the inability to stay on top
of everything when you are ADHD yourself. It is so very hard.
Flylady is a lifesaver for me. I unsubscribe for the
holidays
and need to subscribe again. The doctor did think that I was suffering from
depression. He subscribed Welbutrin. I decided not to try it and try
exercising
to lift my mood. I will try that for six weeks. Thanks for your message.
Me too! Me too!
I am totally there with the feeling overwhelmed, the meds debate, and the
flylady.
I just quit taking my med (wellbutrin) because I felt like I was really
short-tempered with the girls, and while I'm not exactly a bundle of joy and
I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by the laundry since we got back from the
in laws, I think the med was making it worse.
This is the 2nd med I've been on and it used to work very well, so I guess
its time to head back to the dr. for me - hope your visit went well!
Also, I have to second the plug for the flylady - she helps me at least move
on days I don't want to and when I'm feeling good my house is in much better
shape and therefore I feel like we all can concentrate and stay in our
routines. Life is generally better when I don't feel like everything
(including the house) is out of control and I know whatever I am feeling dd
ends up feeling to some degree.
So basically I just wanted to say I hear you!
Don't you just love it when "she" says: "housework done incorrectly is still
housework done"! I wish I had heard that a long time ago.......and anyone
can do anything for 15min! Wow - that is also a life saver - hugs.
I mentioned to ______ that I like Flylady too!
Welbutrin is what the doctor prescribed but he said I would need
to be on it for at least one to two years. Yipes! I thought I might
try a more natural way. My husband and I have been reading
the Curves diet and it focuses on eating less carbs. I have not
been exercising and I'm going to try that.
I think if you're at the point of tears, it's pretty hard to keep everything
together HSing. I don't think it's so bad to take the medications just to
get through the hard times--it doesn't have to be forever. I think it's
worse for the kids to have me crabby all the time. I've been going on and
off meds for years--I understand where you're at. My youngest (8 yo) and I
are starting back onto Adderall today.
You're trying to start a new eating program, unpack, organize the house,
start up school again, think about medications.....alot at once. The
transition week after vacation into schooling is always so hard, getting
back into routines. For us, I've had the flu for 2 days, we got a
snow-storm on Tues. so schools are out, and everyone's wacko. Haven't done
a thing.
Last night my husband and kids were yelling at each other, which makes me
heartbroken, and I don't know what to do. If the kids aren't under MY
thumb every second, all pandemonium breaks loose, it seems. I assume it's like
that for other ADHD families. DH is a good enough dad, just has a bad habit
of yelling when the kids get so hard. I don't know what to do to help
him....does anyone have any ideas? I'm at the end of my rope on this one.
I always feel it has to do with structure and lack of it.
We had a great day on Monday -- we stuck to the schedule. I have a master on
computer of a detailed daily schedule, e.g., 10:00 read aloud to Mom in the
living room, 10:30 play chess with brother in the family room, 11:30 eat
lunch and listen to RC Sproul on radio, etc. If we start late, we stay on
schedule, just end later. Each kid and I have one. This is the only way we
can accomplish our schooling without my straying off to do laundry or
dishes. The kids love the structure. But I'm so ADHD that I can get
sidetracked and not do it.
On Monday I tried something new that really worked (but I've only done it
one day). I have a chart with all possible things they do down the left and
dates across the top. Just little squares so it all fits on one page.
Everything is on it, e.g., brushing teeth in a.m., daily chores, carrying
laundry up, brushing teeth in p.m., going to bed nicely, all their school
subjects. I gave them a point for each thing they did that day, 0-5 points.
0 points = didn't do it, or caused a major problem.
1 point = did it partially or really not cooperative.
2 points = did it fully but not on time, or bothered people or argued.
3 points = did it fully, on time, had to be asked to do it.
4 points = did it fully, on time, without being asked.
5 points = Extra good job (working quickly & quietly).
It took a little time to "grade" them, but it was a motivator for them and
they worked better than I've seen in a long time. We don't do everything
every day, so this gives me a glance at what is getting done -- 3 weeks fit
on one chart. Now I have to figure out what their points will earn --
that's the hard part for me. I do have a little "Mommy Store" of fun items
in a box they can earn, or computer time, etc.
Then I said that after 3:00 the kids need to play together--I NEED to get
away and be alone. This is so critical but very hard for me to do! But at
least I know I should do it and not to feel guilty ignoring them during this
time. They do better if I have a list of what they are supposed to do
during this time....it's always the "free" time that everything falls apart.
I have about an hour's worth of Biblestudy I'm supposed to be doing -- and
if I don't allow myself that time I'm really like a different person.
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