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Executive Functioning Skills for ADDults

Executive Functioning Solutions for ADDults

There is hope for the ADDult. There are tools, methods, treatments, and solutions to address the challenges facing ADDults. Let me warn you, though, that it takes at least three times more effort than normal for an ADDult to stay on top of his life.

No More Denial

The first step is to acknowledge that there is a problem. If you are not sure, ask your husband or wife. Ask your children or boss. They will tell you, maybe a little too emphatically that "YES, THERE IS A PROBLEM!!!" It is time to fess up, get real, and ask the Lord to forgive you for not dealing with this sooner. I am going to step on some toes here, but James 4:17 says, "Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin." Failing to take care of your family is sin (notice I didn't say failing to keep a perfect home is sin -- there is a difference). Failing to fulfill work obligations is sin. Failing to do what you said you would do is sin. When we come to the Lord with our failures, something wonderful happens. By acknowledging the sin, we are positioned for healing.

1 John 1:8 says, "If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

I struggle horribly with keeping a neat and orderly home. When I am dealing with physical illness, I have an excuse for not taking care of my home. When I am not ill and am overwhelmed and fail to at least make a good effort at taking care of my home and family, I may be in sin. Let's face it: we are born in sin, our flesh knows only what it wants and wars against our spirit. It is the spirit man that wants and knows to please God. So calling our failures sin is okay. No, not all failures are sin. Sometimes failure is out of our control. I am talking about personal failure to do what we know we should be doing. According to James 4:17, that type of failure is sin.

1 Peter 5:6,7 says, "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."

Acknowledging failure is just humbling ourselves under the mighty hand of God. He is ever merciful, and He is ever wise and will guide us if we humble ourselves, acknowledging that we cannot handle life on our own. Fall on your face before the Lord. Confess your failures and ask Him to forgive you. Cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you so much. He is waiting for you to come to Him with this struggle. Beginning this journey with a clean slate or a clean heart is imperative.

Restore Relationships

After you have been cleansed in the flow of Jesus' blood, it is time to acknowledge before your loved ones that you have not been what they needed. You must ask them to forgive you. Restoring relationships is right up there with being right with God. Matthew 5:23 makes this clear: "Therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering."

Right relationship with God is interconnected with right relationship with others. Do not neglect this step. You will not find God's grace if you are not right with others.

Accountability

Most of us need some type of accountability in order to do what is right and stay on the path set before us. Finding this accountability can be challenging. I highly recommend that men find another man to share their struggles with. Younger women can seek out an older woman as an accountability partner. Choose someone full of grace but avoid the people-pleasing type. Older women can seek out another older woman for accountability.

Ask this accountability partner to ask you each week about certain areas of your life. If you and the Lord are working on being on time this week, ask your accountability partner to ask you each time he sees you if you were on time to work, meetings, etc. Confess if you were not and allow the Lord to work in this area through another. Having an accountability partner maintains humility. Pride and healing are not compatible. Humility and healing go hand in hand.

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