ADHD of the Christian Kind

My Day Off

by Cindi Jacobsen

Oh, joy!!! A whole day to myself! I actually sent the kids on a field trip with their 4-H group... and...I DIDN’T CHAPERONE!!! My 8yo daughter was so insecure in my not going that she was convinced the whole day would be a big flop! Even though (or maybe because) her brother was going along!

So, at 8:00 sharp (I didn’t want to appear too eager), I drove into the assigned meeting place to deposit my beloved darlings for their big day on their own (well, with someone else’s mother at least!). All of the moms there with smiling faces and eager anticipation. 8:05....8:10... where ’s the bus? It was supposed to be here at 8:00!?! 8:15... well, the chaperone decides he better go make a phone call... 8:18 chaperone returns, throws raincoats at his wife and takes off .

“Where’s he going?”

“Well, looks like he has to go pick up the bus.... somebody messed up!”

He yells across the parking lot as he ‘exits, stage right...’ “in Camp Douglas!” A twenty minute drive one way...

OK, I can adjust. Disappointed but determined to enjoy the day anyway, we moms, still with our darling loved ones in tow, decide to go scout out the farmer’s market that just opened last weekend. We talk of kids...and cows... and rabbits...and housework...and exchange a few horror stories...you know...like “the time I found brown mouse fur floating in the milk shake I had just blended up in my blender”. We discussed the difference between turnips and rutabagas and what they were good for (not much, we decided), and whether we were EVER going to get the promised sunshine?

9:00... Here comes the van! Kisses all around, hugs and a warning of “be good”, and my big day begins!!!

First stop - the coffee shop, of course! Here the owner comments on how she doesn’t see me very often any more and I lament about how my oldest daughter has been gone to Texas for 2 months with 4 more to go, and how I never get time alone any more! We trade a little information about tea, the town Freedom Fest coming up, and the addictive qualities of baklava.

I decide there are places I want to go and things I don’t want to do today, so soon I take off for those green pastures!

One place I want to visit is my home.... no, not my ancestral home.... my house! I forget what it’s like and just why I love it so much when the kids are running around making messes and piles of laundry are awaiting my expertise handling!

Well, even though the LAUNDRY is still sitting there...I determedly walk through the house and IGNORE IT!! (and yesterday’s mail on the table...and the pile of unpaid bills on the counter...and the dirty socks in the living room...) and my computer is just sitting there calling my name!!!

It’s been WEEKS since I’ve been able to sit down and just “talk” to all those other caring people on my christian support list! I plan on writing til I drop (or my computer crashes!). And then there’s STILL the homeschool graduation I get to attend ALL BY MYSELF!!! Maybe I’ll ACTUALLY be able to sit through the whole thing without ONE interuption! Think so??? I’ll probably have to get up half way through to use the “necessary”, just so I don’t feel too awkward!

So, in total bliss and oblivion I sit down and start rambling in answer to all of the posts from my list I haven’t had time to answer all week....heaven. A very short hour later I decide I’m getting hungry, and I’d better start to get ready to go to the graduation....get up, start lunch....well, just one more short, witty email....

OH NO!!!!!

Well, now that I’ve got the fire on my stove well under control and most of the smoke is rolling out the windows and doors, I’ll finish my email, adding a witty little line about my near disaster! Boy, I’m sooooo good today! Even a fire doesn’t shake me!!! Well, I dump the burnt pan into the sink - no time to clean it before I have to leave, anyway. There’s always tomorrow! I fry myself up a potato, write just ONE more email message, and decide it’s time to hit the road - that wide open highway! I saunter into the bathroom, throw on some eye shadow and mascara ( after all...it’s my DAY OFF, and I wouldn’t want to waste too much time here), a little perfume and I’m off. I don’t even brush my hair - daring, huh???

Grab my purse and I’m outa here! Just about on time, too! I’m soooo good!

I start the car... running a little rough...our gas guage doesn’t work right, maybe I’ll put a little gas in it when I get to town. That’s OK, I’ve got time! I’m not in ANY rush today!!! After all, it’s my DAY OFF. Oh, wonderful, glorious day! God’s in His heaven and all’s right with the world! Praise the Lord.

I take a right (oh, so carefully..I wouldn’t want anything to mess up THIS day) out of our driveway. Down the road about 100 feet I take another right...right back into our front yard (we have a wrap around driveway...saves lots of time when you forget things). Back into the house - couldn’t find my key, but thankfully I forgot to lock the back door...see, everything works for good...grab some cash and change my barn shoes (I wouldn’t want to go THAT far at a graduation, after all), and skip back out to the car. Still doing OK on time. So what if I’m a few minutes late...these things never start on time. Besides it’s my DAY OFF! Oh, wonderful, glorious day! God’s in heaven and all’s right with the world! Praise the Lord!

Take another right out of the driveway and I’M OFF (again)! Such a bright, sunny day! Oh, how glorious! The hills are beautiful...clouds leaving dappling shadows among the dark valleys and bright hilltops. What a glorious DAY OFF!

I pop an instrumental tape of Robin Hood into my tape player and just enjoy listening...uninterrupted, the ENTIRE 14 miles into town!

OOOps! Almost forgot the gas....I’ll put $10 in...all the cash I brought...oh, well, I always have my checkbook, right! Just in case I need anything else in town...like another cup of coffee or maybe a movie for tonight. Ah, yes...kids were up early, so they can go to bed early...hubby will want to sleep...definitely a Mom movie night!

OOOps! missed my turn to the church where the graduation is being held. Oh, well, I never get to daydream. Usually there are too many interruptions. I guess I’m entitled today. After all... it’s my DAY OFF. Oh wonderful, glorious day! God’s in His heaven and all’s right with the world! Praise the Lord!

I pull regally into the parking lot in my 10 year old Buick wagon with all the rust pocks on the side and the leaky right rear door... and the back window that doesn’t quite shut tight...but my spirits are high and I feel like it’s a Caddy!

Well, only 10 minutes late...these things never start on time, anyway, right?

As I quietly sneak into a back pew, managing only to make one small (OK, not quite so small) “clunk” as I trip over the foot of the pew. But, hey! It’s a lot quieter than it would be if I had the kids with me!!!

I sit quietly through the ENTIRE ceremony. NO INTERRUPTIONS!! Pure bliss!! I smile broadly at the mom next to me who had to take her daughter to the ladies’ room. I turn around and give the mom with the fussy baby a very comforting grin, showing her how very tolerant I am, and how understanding of her situation... Afterwards, I sit and enjoy small talk with my friends without ONCE being asked, “Mommy, can I.....”

Well, I’ve probably stretched out the talking as long as I dare. Hubbie’s home by now. Besides, there are only two other people here and they’re leaving. They have to lock the door...

I head toward home, savoring the beauty of the day, seranaded by my cassette player. Oh, perfect day... Oh, bliss...Oh how heavenly..............Oh..Oh.

I FORGOT THE KIDS!!! I was supposed to have picked them up from their field trip 25 MINUTES AGO...IN TOWN!!!

I appropriate the first driveway I pass to complete my Y-turn and proceed to retrace my steps (tire tracks) the four miles back into town.

I FINALLY arrive at the pick-up spot, apologizing profusely to the chaperones for being so awfully late. I explain what had happened, “Well, I TRIED to forget them...” and apologized once again.

Thankful I had not kept them from anything important, I shepherd my brood into the grey 1989 Buick wagon with the red rust spots, and head back out of town, down the cracked blacktop road, the sun having disappeared for the time being.

....Sigh....

I soon pass the driveway where I had turned around. Funny, I hadn’t noticed the old broken down pick-up in the yard, and the way the house was so badly in need of painting....

The children are regaling me with all of the lovely tunes they had sung on their way home from Madison. That is... in between the bickering and complaining....

....Sigh....

I look out my dust-streaked, insect stained window. Do you know what I saw??? The sun is dancing on the beautiful pavement, the clouds’ shadows flit among the hilltops and valleys. A small, peaceful smile plays on my lips. What a wonderful, glorious DAY! God’s in His heaven and all’s right with the world! Praise the Lord!

“What song is that you’re singing, kids? Let’s try it all together, OK?”