The Courage to Raise an ADD/ADHD Child

The Courage to Raise a Special Needs Child

When the Lord decides to send a special child (ADHD, ADD, Bipolar Disorder, OCD, Depression, Anxiety Disorder) to a family, He knows, in His great wisdom, that this family is capable of raising that child. The Lord does not make mistakes!

But how do we react to the news that our children suffer from ADHD, depression, bipolar, anxiety, autism, Asperger's? We are shocked, dismayed, frightened at the future of these children. We know that great hardship awaits us as we attempt to control the unpleasant characteristics of these challenges with medications, nutritional supplements, diets, therapy and anything else that is touted as a "cure".

The great search begins for information that will aid us in not only surviving the journey, but bring victory in the lives of our children, making them useful vessels to the glory of the Lord. We are not satisfied with a child that no longer hits his siblings or lies, or a child who can sit still at his desk so he doesn't disrupt his class, we want children who will fulfill their destinies.

We realize after some time that the task that lays ahead is one of great difficulty--almost impossible in the natural. We falter and almost faint as we face daily assaults from our children, unkind and often abusive language, physical damage in our homes, and mood swings that seem unreal. But we cannot faint (at least not for long)! We must take to heart the Word of God:

"Finally, brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might." (Eph. 6:10)

The Lord knows the fruit of fear: discouragement, despair and failure. He knows that fear is out of the question for the Christian.

Okay, the temptation to give in to the fear that grips our hearts is too much sometimes, and we fall down crying out for help. How can we endure such difficulty? It seems as though our hearts will break with the pain. James wrote:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

I am sitting on the floor in a puddle, crying and sobbing, and James says to "consider it pure joy." I am told to "be strong", "fear not" and "consider it pure joy." Did I mention that these words are not suggestions, but commands? Yes, commands. A command is something we "must" do; it is not optional. Obedience is required.

William Gurnall, in The Christian in Complete Armour*, wrote:

"Fear immobilizes its victim - like the distraught soldier who runs trembling to his foxhole at first rumor of an attack and refuses to come out until all threat of danger is past.

He [Paul] tells us, 'Don't let your fears overwhelm you. March on with undaunted courage and be strong in the Lord . . .' And here is the great consolation: 'The outcome of the battle rests on God's performance, not on your skill or strength!'"

The Christian is not required to be a skilled warrior, but to trust in the Lord to fight his battles for him. We are exhorted frequently in the scriptures:

"Be strong and courageous." (2 Chron. 32:7)
"Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong." (Isa. 35:4).

Courage is "that quality of mind which enables men to encounter danger and difficulties with firmness, or without fear or depression of spirits; valor; boldness; resolution; bravery." (Websters 1828 Dictionary)

Strong means "well fortified; able to sustain attacks; not easily subdued or taken." (Websters 1828 Dictionary)

Gurnall goes on to say: "A cowardly spirit is beneath the lowest duty of a Christian."

How do we become strong and brave? Gurnall explains:

"Prayer is the main line that leads straight to the throne of God. By it the Christian approaches God with a humble boldness of faith, takes hold of Him, wrestles with Him, and will not let Him go until he has His blessing.

Meanwhile, the carnal Christian . . . rushes headlong into battle with a foolhardy confidence that soon turns yellow when his conscience wakes up and sounds the alarm that his sins are upon him. Then, unnerved by this surprise attack, he throws down his weapon, flees from the presence of God with guilty Adam, and dares not look Him in the face."

Oh, this stings! We must never fear the presence of God, but fly toward the flame and let the Lord burn away the chaff in our lives. I must be honest: in all my prayers and petitions that the Lord please! help my son to be "less" ADHD, to bring peace to our home, the answer I have received from the Lord is that I will grow much as I raise my children--I will be changed as I press in for answers and solutions to our unique difficulties. Faced with each day's new challenges, I must cry out to the Lord often just for the grace not to run away from home or give in to my own emotions. This is a dear and precious situation. I am forced to rely on the Lord for each day's grace to succeed in raising my children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. How can this be done?

"Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore, come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Heb. 4:14-16)

Notice it says to come "boldly" to the throne of grace. We are sons and daughters of the Creator of the universe. We are to approach Him as our children do us when they just want to sit in our laps or need a drink or something to eat. They "know" their needs will be met. Likewise, we should "know" our needs will be met if we just "boldly" approach the throne of grace. Fear not to seek your Heavenly Father in your time of need (which is all the time if you have ADD/ADHD children).

*The Christian in Complete Armour, Vol. 1, by William Gurnall, published by The Banner of Truth Trust in association with World Challenge, Inc., 1986.