A Checklist for All Parents

The following is an article written by a previous member of the Christian ADHD List. Through much searching, prayer and intercession, she has found peace in her home and healing for her children's disorders (they are manageable now), including ADHD. She agreed to share what has worked for her so the rest of us can benefit from her experiences. The following is from her heart to yours.

Take inventory by asking yourself these questions:
1. How is my own spiritual condition? Am I communicating with the Lord in prayer? Have I been truly saved? Is my soul fed daily?
2. How is my health? Do I have a healthy diet, and healthy liver, etc?
3. How is my relationship with my spouse? Am I kind, godly, and giving? If you are a woman, are you under subjection to your husband in God's plan – not an "under the thumb" plan of men? If you are a man, do you delight in your wife and give her the consideration and attention she deserves?
4. Is my home fairly orderly and clean?
5. Do my children get plenty of vigorous outdoor activity? Do they watch television more than I would like?
6. Does my family eat nutritious meals at regular times each day? Do we rely on "fast foods" or convenience foods more than 20% of the time?
7. Am I taking on too many responsibilities outside my home and children?
8. Am I consistent with training my children? Does NO always mean NO?
9. Am I respectful and loving with my children?
10. Do I clearly define the rules? Do I carefully explain in details what is required of everyone so no one misunderstands what is expected? and repeat this as necessary?
11. Do my spouse and I support one another in issues of child training and discipline?
12. Do my spouse and I have a "united front" when dealing with the children?
After taking inventory, I found I "failed" the test. No wonder we were in total chaos! I had fallen into the trap of taking on more than there were hours in the day to do. I was suffering, my home suffered, my work suffered, the children were suffering, my spouse was suffering; what a mess!!

Not to mention the mess I had become from the stress of feeling that I never finished anything, never did anything properly. There are still those over-committed times when I can’t seem to say no, or I can’t seem to prioritize – but, there is a difference. When I’m "drowning" I pull back and "take inventory." This helps me to get my priorities back in order.

Let’s face it. If you’re a mom, the kids are almost 100% YOUR responsibility, and if you have a supportive spouse you can lessen that percentage somewhat. But, for most women I know, not much.

Okay. So how do we live in this crazy, chaotic, demanding world and not go mad? I don’t have the answers for you, but I have found that most people have most of their answers if they will take a few minutes to think things through.

Our one true source of answers is, of course, Jesus. But, He is not at my house babysitting when I need to run an errand or have to deal with a client. So let’s be practical, too. He has given us everything we need to learn to manage all of our blessings.
Management: After spiritual assessment, I looked at health issues.

My children have an inherited tendency for digestive disorders. This was only discovered through years of detective work, trial and error. These manifest themselves in a variety of ways: bad behavior, aggression, emotional outbursts, tics, hyperactivity, depression, allergies, recurrent "colds," illnesses of all types, skin disorders, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, etc. You may be wondering how are some of these things related to digestion? I’m not a doctor, but have done tons of research for years. Positively the BEST health site I have ever seen gives the details on the great role of the LIVER. If you have any illnesses of any kind, I HIGHLY recommend that you take the time to study this site: http://www.sensiblehealth.com.

Things we’ve tried that worked:
1. My oldest displayed extremely hyperactive behavior from 5 months pre-birth. Once born, she slept on a 1- 4 hour schedule until she was 2 years old. Talk about sleep deprived! A very alert doctor put her on MASSIVE doses of B-complex vitamins, with extra B-6, B-12 and folic acid, and minerals, including zinc, calcium and magnesium. Over a period of time (months) her body began to adjust and she started to sleep and be less "on the go." We had great relief, but no complete "fix" yet. She stayed on these massive doses for over 4 months, then we cut back to more "normal" dosages.
2. At 5 we took this child to a counselor that had wonderful results with hyperactive children. She used a method called "bicep tapping" to balance the brain and body. Her name is Linda Howe in Chino, California. This method was marvelous, but very time consuming. We tried it on the child and my husband for several weeks and it was EXTREMELY effective, but at about the same time we discovered #3 and it was much easier to spend the money to have it done, than to do the relaxation exercises and therapy on 2 people 2 times a day. Maybe I'm lazy? It was a wonderful treatment and I still intend to follow through with it at some point when I can make the time.
3. We then took this child to a center for ADD/ADHD diagnosis and treatment, Ida Stolk in Tustin, California. The treatment was called Neurofeedback. Electrodes were attached to the head and arms and this system "trained" the neurons in the brain to fire more normally. I didn't see that much difference in the child, but a little. The big bonus was my husband. The center had examined both of us, and he was labeled in the protocol as a Most Severe textbook case of ADHD, as was my daughter. If you will, let me say that I don't know about these labels that are applied to people. I do not see them as being very beneficial. But in any case, my husband took the neurofeedback treatments and the change in him was nothing short of miraculous. He had been taking the massive B’s etc., also, but not on a regular basis, etc. After these neurofeedback treatments he became calmer, more thoughtful, ABLE to HOLD a JOB more than six months. There could be several variables here as to job environment, etc. that could be taken into account, but he was in the same industry, etc.
4. Daughter #2 suffered with EXTREME stomach problems. As a nursing baby, she was allergic to everything she touched or ate. She had a severe B-vitamin and Zinc deficiency, also. She was spacey, glassy-eyed, whiney, demanding, emotional, etc. Pancreatic supplements were added. Her system came more into balance with these supplements.
5. My son was born with life-threatening digestive disorders. At 12 months, when he weaned himself, his system shut down and he lost 5 lbs. He could not digest food. Again detective work, this time critical for his life - he was put on Pancreatropin, a bovine pancreas, adrenal, minerals, B-vitamins above, etc. Within 6 months he was completely back to normal.
6. These experiences over 7 years took me to finding the proper digestive supports. For my crew, Dews 21st Century Products, Mineral Wells, Texas, 76067, had the definitive products. He has a product called TAT Metabolite – thyroid, adrenal and tyrosine, for adults, and Children’s TAT. This combination is a lifesaver for these ADD/ADHD folks whose systems stay in an uproar. When adrenal glands are un/under supported and over-taxed, the body is in fight/flight mode continually. This is displayed with emotional outbursts, whininess, crying, fits of rage, etc. etc. These supports for the glands allow the system to come back into balance.
  
  My family has been on these for about 1 year now. The oldest would no longer be considered hyperactive. #2 daughter has level emotions now and her allergies are almost gone (previously I had taken her to the emergency room one night with an allergy attack so severe that she could not breathe). Son is growing and thriving. He has no more digestive ailments, normal stools, no diarrhea.
  
  I’ve tried to give you the short version of what has worked for us in vitamins, but we are always learning, and there is no one right way to support a body. My suspicions on behavior problems being digestion related are being proven in a variety of studies. Please read the information on the sensiblehealth.com site. This information is priceless. Note that LIVER disorders are the ROOT CAUSE of many ill health and emotional problems. The liver is damaged by many things in our "progressive" society – especially toxins, and medicines of all types are toxic to the liver. The medicines can temporarily treat symptoms which result from a toxic liver and in turn further poison the body, further requiring the treatment, etc. -- a vicious cycle.
7. When I stay so busy trying to work, teach, housekeeper, mother, cook, etc. etc., I am at wit's end. I started saying NO. If my children and home are my top priority, life is so much better for all of us. I’m sane and the children are under control.
8. When the children run, romp and play and expend all of that wonderful energy, they sleep better, act better, get along better, and so do I. We feel homeschooling is the only choice for our family. On days of excess energy we play chase, throw rocks, splash water, then have school afterwards. And a lot of our "school" is hands on – measure and build a box with wood, nails and a hammer. You might ask yourself, if your children are confined in a schoolroom for much of the day, watch TV for hours on end when home, then do homework for hours on end in their room at night, is that a normal condition for a child? Should we expect them to be at their best in this situation?

I’ve tried to present all of this information in the most direct and loving way I can. This is what has worked for us, and we still struggle sometimes. I think that is called LIFE?

God bless,
Connie