ADHD of the Christian Kind - Contract for 7 Rules of Behavior

What is Typical ADHD Behavior?

NOTICE: The following posts are taken from the Christian ADHD List. The names, e-mail addresses and locations of all parties involved have been removed to protect their privacy. The posts have been used with permission, but are copyrighted by ADHD of the Christian Kind.

"What is typical, normal behavior for a child with ADD/ADHD? Or what's typical for other loop members? Not being around young children (6,7), I am not sure what is just childish and what is part of the disorder. THanks for the input."

I think the difference between regular childish behavior and ADD/ADHD behavior is its extremity. My 7yo just does not think before he acts. He will hit a sibling if he is angered or irritated by something they do. But my 22mo baby has been taught not to hit and has pretty much stopped.

My 7yo will take a knife and slice along my kitchen counters until they are ruined, talk incessantly until I have a headache, cry if he gets frustrated, throw a tantrum if one of his siblings make a sound he doesn't like when he doesn't like, has started fires over and over (but hasn't done this in a while), has a most difficult time staying attended to his school work, and has emotional ups and downs that would make you dizzy.

If I give him a job to do, I have to keep reminding him what he is supposed to be doing. His younger sister can clean the whole bathroom, set the table, clean off the table after a meal, put the food away, etc. But _____ can't do any of this unless I keep him on track with constant reminders.

Does this help a little? Have you read the Diagnostic Criteria for ADD/ADHD? My son meets all the criteria, which includes bedwetting (has since been cured by the anti-depressant he is taking).

My husband and I were talking last night about how extreme our children were, and I brought up something I had read that ADD/ADHD children are probably a large majority of abused children because their behavior incites such anger in their parents. My husband said that if we weren't Christians, he doesn't see how we would have kept ourselves from abusing our children. As it is we discussed that we need to be very consistent, very tight on control over allowable behavior, but very, very loving, and not harsh. We both tend toward the harsh side, so we really need to work on that.

Also, my 6yo daughter and 4yo son seem to be very sensitive to discipline and can sense when we are angry. They become hurt when they are dealt with this way.

"My husband said that if we weren't Christians, he doesn't see how we would have kept ourselves from abusing our children."

My husband and I say this, too. The things these kids do are incredible, I am the oldest of seven and none of us kids were anything like my boys. We use melatonin, too for helping our two older boys sleep (ages 7 and almost 9). My husband always had sleep problems and he started taking it about a month or two ago and it has really helped him, too.

Warning: Melatonin should never be used with pre- or pubescent children because of the hormones it contains.

_____ doesn't ever remember to change clothes, but will live in the same clothes for as long as I let him. He doesn't comb his hair, brush his teeth, or do anything else that isn't "important" to him without a reminder from me. I can ask him to vacuum his bedroom floor and an hour later, he might have the vacuum cleaner plugged in, but be involved in something else. Two hours later, after much reminding and some yelling on my part, he might vacuum the middle of the room. He will find a piece of something on the floor while vacuuming and forget about finishing that job. He is distracted.

_____, so many times when I see things in your posts that remind me of _____, but this is pure _____(9yo with ADHD symptoms). Everything you mentioned _____ does.(and does ALOT) What has helped _____ the most is a combination of using a clipboard with a daily checklist of things to do, combined with a token system where he accumulated tokens for rewards. This was a great system for _____. I used it for several months, but it didn't work well for _____ and I got tired of it. I am planning to institute again for _____ only when we start school next week. He likes it because he gets more done when we used it and it gives him something to work towards. I need to discipline myself to set it up and use it. I have been thinking that disciplining myself to get this set up and initiated is a true gift(of myself) that I can give _____.