Helping Your Child Understand Authority

I don't know about your ADHD children, but mine tend to really dislike the authority we have over them. They do not like hearing the word, "No!" nor do they like to be denied what they want at any given moment.

But the Bible is clear on the authority given to us by God over our children. Let us explore the characteristics of authority so we may better help our children understand its nature.

Please bear with the Old Testament study of this subject (where we see God's opinion and attitude toward rebellion and contempt of authority), as we will move into the New Testament and see the grace and mercy of God toward rebellious sons and daughters. I am not advocating the destruction of rebellious children; Jesus paid the price for ALL sin, including rebellion. Praise the Lord!

Before you start:

• A prayerful attitude: ask the Lord for insight and understanding of His Word
• Gather the following tools:
  1. Bible in one or two translations
  2. Dictionary (Webster's 1828 or Bible Dictionary recommended) and/or concordance with Hebrew and Greek lexicon
  3. Pen and notebook to record your thoughts
  4. Copy of this Bible study (permission is granted to print out for personal use)
  5. Copy of the Answer Key.
  6. A set of Scripture Memorization cards printed on card stock for each child.
  7. Scissors
  8. Yarn or ring for binding cards together
  9. Hole punch for cards
• If you do the Bible study online, after clicking on a Bible verse or definition hyper link, just click on "Back" to return to your place in the study.

First things first: Parents must understand authority!
Day 1: Who's the Boss?
Day 2: Who Else is Boss?
Day 3: What Does God Think of Extreme Disrespect and Worse?
Day 4: What is Discipline?
Day 5: How Should You Treat Your Parents?
Scripture References and Definitions

First things first: Parents must understand authority!

1. Record who Romans 13:1 states authority is derived from?
   
   
   
2. Define authority.
   
   
   
3. Read Exodus 20:12. What does this commandment require of children?
   
   
   
4. Define honor.
   
   
   
5. Let us further examine what the Law has to say about a child's attitudes and actions toward their parents. Read Exodus 21:15. According to the Law, what was the prescribed punishment for a child striking a parent?
   
   
   
6. Read Exodus 21:17. According to the Law, what was the prescribed punishment for a child cursing his father or mother?
   
   
   
7. Define to curse.
   
   
   
8. Read Proverbs 23:22. What is a child commanded to do?

   a.

   b.

   
   
   
9. Define despise and contempt.
   
   
   
10. Read 1 Corinthians 11:3.

    a. Who is the head of every man?

    b. Who is the head of woman?

    c. Who is the head of Christ?

    
    
    
11. Define head (a Bible dictionary or concordance will be necessary to adequately define this term).
    
    
    

Allow me to interject some thoughts of my own (which I really don't like to do). Please take any thoughts I share before the Lord and allow the Him to judge them before you embrace them.

Before we move on to the next lesson, we must examine our own hearts as parents. What concept of authority are we modeling? Do we respectfully submit to the authorities in our lives: police, IRS, pastor, employer, husband (for women)? If we are irreverent in our actions and words toward the authorities placed over us by God himself then our children will only do the same. Ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal any rebellion in your own life before moving on to the next lesson; confess your sin, repent and move on.

Devotional on Authority for Families

Teach your child the concept of authority!

This section is provided as a devotional for you to use with your children. Since I believe "the Word of God is living and active and sharper than a two-edged sword," (Hebrews 4:12 NASB), I will give you the scripture references and you should read the passages to your children from the translation of the Bible you are most comfortable with. Allow a natural discussion to develop with guidance from you, the parent.

I recommend spending a week or two on this devotional, praying before and after for the anointing of the Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of truth (John 14:16&17) to reveal these important truths to your children. Although it is written for the youngest of children, any age child will benefit from the scripture and discussion period; adjust the discussion level for your children.

Day 1: Who's the Boss?

Read 1 Corinthians 11:3 aloud.

Discussion questions:

1. What do you think "head" means? (boss; one with power and authority over another)
2. Who is the head of every man? (Christ)
3. Who is the head of every woman? (man)
4. Who is the head of Jesus? (God)
5. What does a boss do? (tells people what jobs to do, hires and fires people, punish if people don't do their jobs right, helps people know how to do their jobs, helps people do their jobs if necessary, decides which jobs are most important, makes sure people get paid and rewarded for doing a good job)
6. So who is the boss of all? (God)

Read Ephesians 6:1-3 aloud.

Discussion questions:

1. What does obey mean? (to do as one is told)
2. Children, who are you to obey? (parents) Why? (it is the right thing to do; the Bible tells me to)
3. Who does the Bible say is your boss?
4. What are some of the things your mom and dad will have to do as your boss?
5. What do you think "honor" means? (respect and love)
6. What will happen if you honor your parents? (it will go well with you and you will enjoy a long life on the earth)

ACTIVITY:

Child is to cut out and put together the Scripture Memorization Cards. Help your children memorize 1 Corinthians 11:3.

Day 2: Who Else is Boss?

Read Romans 13:1-7 aloud.

Discussion questions:

1. (Read verse 1 again) Who is to be in subjection to the governing authorities? (every person)
2. What do you think "subjection" means? (being under the power or authority of another)
3. Who can give me some examples of "governing authorities"? (police, government: federal, state and local--city inspectors, tax collectors, those who enforce ordinances, etc., judges, IRS, school officials and more)
4. (Read verse 2 again) Who established these authorities? (God)
5. (Read verse 3 again) When we resist (don't obey) these authorities, who are we really resisting? (God or God's laws)
6. (Read verse 3 again) Who should be afraid of rulers? (people who do wrong or evil)
7. Are you ever afraid of your parents, teachers or the police? Why do you think you are afraid of them? (because I have done things wrong and gotten in trouble; I don't always do what I should)
8. What do you have to do to not be afraid of authority? (do what is good)
9. (Read verses 4-5 again) What might happen if you disobey an authority? (I will be afraid; it will bring God's wrath or anger on me and I will be punished)
10. (Read verses 6-7 again; ask children to fill in the blank) Rulers are servants of ________. (God)

ACTIVITY:

Using the Scripture Memorization Cards, review 1 Corinthians 11:3. Help your children memorize Romans 13:1.

Day 3: What Does God Think of Extreme Disrespect and Worse?

A long time ago, before Jesus was born, died and was resurrected, a man names Moses was given some laws by God. There were some laws written for children (not necessarily for small children). We can read about these laws in the book of Exodus in the Old Testament. Back then, when children were bad, sometimes the punishments were very harsh.

Read Exodus 21:15 aloud.

Discussion questions:

1. What did this Law say would happen to someone who hit his father or mother?
2. After learning about this Law, what do you think about a child who hits his father or mother?
3. Do you think God dislikes this kind of behavior? Why?

Read Exodus 21:17 aloud.

Discussion questions:

1. What did this law say would happen to someone who cursed his father or mother?
2. What do you think "to curse" means? (being hateful, to swear, belittling or showing contempt)
3. After learning about this law, what do you think about a child who curses his father or mother?
4. Do you think God dislikes this kind of behavior? Why?

We don't kill children for hitting or swearing at their parents now, but God considers this the worst kind of behavior a child can show toward his/her parents.

ACTIVITY:

Using the Scripture Memorization Cards, review 1 Corinthians 11:3, Romans 13:1. Help your children memorize Ephesians 6:2,3.

Day 4: What is Discipline?

Read Proverbs 13:24 and Proverbs 22:15 aloud.

Discussion questions:

1. What do these verses say should happen to a child who breaks the rules, disobeys or isn't respectful? (chastening, use of the rod, spanking)
2. What does God expect a loving parent to do with a child who is foolish and disobedient? (use the rod of discipline, spank)
3. What will the rod of discipline do for a child? (remove foolishness far from the child)
4. Who made your parents boss over you? (God)
5. Who will then punish you when you do not obey or do what you are told? (parents)

Read Proverbs 19:18, Proverbs 23:13 and Proverbs 4:1 aloud.

Discussion questions:

1. What does discipline mean? (teaching and training so a child has self-control, to bring to sound mind)
2. Do your parents discipline you? How? (teaching you good manners, making you do extra work when you have a bad attitude about chores, teaching you from the Bible what is right and wrong)
3. Are your parents doing their job when they try to teach you the right way to act?
4. Who gave your parents the job of teaching and training you?
5. If your parents are doing their job when they discipline you, how should you act when they are doing it? (accept correction, teachable, open to instruction)
6. Do you always accept correction? Should you?
7. Which would please God the most?

ACTIVITY:

Using the Scripture Memorization Cards, review 1 Corinthians 11:3, Romans 13:1 and Ephesians 6:2,3. Help your children memorize Proverbs 4:1.

Day 5: How Should You Treat Your Parents?

Read Exodus 20:12 aloud.

Discussion questions:

1. Who remembers what "honor" means? (to respect, love and treat with deference -- yielding in opinion; submission of judgement to the opinion or judgement of another, speaking well of them, being polite, showing them courtesy, follow their teaching and direction)
2. In what ways should a child show honor to a parent? (speak to respectfully, ask properly for privileges, submit to correction with grace, respond with a "Yes, ma'am." or "Yes, sir.", show kindness to, offer help whenever possible, submit to their decisions about your life, doing good to and for them all the days of their lives, even taking care of them when they are old, and more)
3. What behaviors do not show honor to parents? (talking back, arguing, grumbling, yelling, being self-willed, not receiving correction properly, ignoring commands, be disobedient, refusing to work and help them, and more)

Read Proverbs 6:20 aloud.

Discussion questions:

1. What do you think "observe the commandment of your father" means? (follow his directions, obey and submit to the rules he makes, listen and submit to his correction)
2. What are some of the commandments your father has created in your home?
3. Why do you think he wants you to do these things? (encourage the children to think this one through)
4. What are some of the "the teaching[s] of your mother"? (list some of the things the mother in the home has been trying to teach the children for a long time)
5. If you think about it, will these teachings help you be better people when you grow up? Will they help you get along with others?
6. How then should you treat the commandments of your father and the teachings of your mother?

Give the children an opportunity to pray and ask the Lord to forgive them for any irreverent attitudes toward you, and then encourage them to apologize to you for those attitudes. Let them know that they must change these attitudes and the accompanying behaviors for their relationship with the Lord to be right; they cannot continue as they have been.

ACTIVITY:

Using the Scripture Memorization Cards, review 1 Corinthians 11:3, Romans 13:1, Ephesians 6:2,3 and Proverbs 4:1. Help your children memorize Ephesians 6:1.

Scripture References and Definitions

Romans 13:1 - "Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God."(NASB)

authority - legal power, or a right to command or to act; as the authority of parents over children. Power; rule; sway.

Exodus 20:12 - "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you." (NASB)

honor - to revere; to respect; to treat with deference and submission, and perform relative duties to.

Exodus 21:15 - "He who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death." (NASB)

Exodus 21:17 - "He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death." (NASB)

to curse - to utter a wish of evil against one; to imprecate evil upon; to call for mischief or injury to fall upon; to injure; to subject to evil; to vex, harrass or torment with great calamities. Vines Complete Expository Dictionary defines the term "to curse" as "make little or comptemptible".

Proverbs 23:22 - "Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old." (NASB)

despise - to scorn; to disdain; to have the lowest opinion of.

contempt - the act of despising; the act of viewing or considering and treating as mean, vile and worthless; disdain.

1 Corinthians 11:3 - "But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ." (NASB)

head- a chief; a principal person; a leader; a commander; one who has the first rank or place, and to whom others are subordinate.

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright© 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Definitions are from the Noah Webster's 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language.

©Copyright 2007 by ADHD of the Christian Kind. Permission granted to print out for personal HOME use only. Copyright must remain with all materials.

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