ADHD of the Christian Kind - List Archives: Homeschooling (Part 2)

Homeschooling 1999 - Part 2

NOTICE: The following posts are taken from the Christian ADHD Alternative Treatment List. The names, e-mail addresses and locations of all parties involved have been removed to protect their privacy. The posts have been used with permission, but are copyrighted by ADHD of the Christian Kind.

Today I'd like to comment on the homeschooling thread that's been running along here. Like you, _____, I've laughed a bit, too, but know these are hard decisions for everyone, especially parents with special children. Here's another twist for the thread though:

Are any of you homeschooling moms ADHD yourself trying to homeschool a BUNCH of little ones closely spaced, many with special needs? That's me to a T! I feel like I am operating in a cloud, slowly with constant interruptions.

Our 12 yo is slow to catch on and doesn't follow through independently. Our 9 yo poops in his pants several times a day, is slightly autistic, and perhaps ADHD (the neurologist and psychologist lumped him into the PDD category--pervasive developmental delay). Our 7 yo has sensory integration problems, esp. with auditory processing. She lives in la la land and many would say she is ADD. Our 5 yo is normal, and I thank the Lord for the little break He provided us in her.

Our almost 3 yo twins are another huge challenge unto themselves. One is precocious -- she is mentally and physically very advanced. (All our other children have been very slow to get their gross and fine motor skills, and some are still uncoordinated even into elementary age.) She is also hyper, talking incessantly and constantly getting into things. We keep trying to give her to friends for a couple of years but noone will take her! (Just kidding.) The other twin has Down syndrome, but is doing very well. Her blessing is this advanced twin who gets her doing things she otherwise wouldn't. Then we have our baby, who was born with dislocated hips (like dogs have hip dysplasia). She has been in a harness, cast, or leg brace since birth. (We're hoping she gets off the brace this coming Friday.) She cannot roll over, sit up, or anything, although once her legs are freed, we think she is mentally and physically able to catch up. She is very peaceful and easy, thank the Lord.

I can hear some minds clicking at this point: "Why in the world do they keep having children?" Well, after being married for seven years without children, we learned that children are a gift from the Lord (even, and maybe even ESPECIALLY special needs children) and we didn't want to refuse the gifts He wanted to give to us. Yes, it's scary. Yes, we get tons of flack not only from our families (who are very status quo), but even from strangers in the grocery store!

Anyway, I have ALWAYS wanted to homeschool. I love learning all sorts of things and teaching them to little children is a joy. The problem is that I get overwhelmed by all the daily life things. I am an impulsive, spontaneous person and not too self-disciplined. We've wasted all sorts of money on Daytimers and Franklin Planners and curriculum planners,etc. for me. We've bought tons of various curriculum. We even had Tom and Joyce Herzog (the lady famous for counselling homeschooling families with special needs children) LIVE with us! But I'm still a mess.

We start out with a great schedule and within a few days are off of it, because it is SO STRESSFUL and our house falls apart worse than usual. (I'm not talking about vacuumed baseboards here, either!) My boys have learned in spite of me, but they are terrible spellers and writers, b/c I can't get my act together to work regularly with them. And our 7 yo daughter needs consistent work to help her learn to read, but I have so many days we don't do it b/c of some crisis or another.

I'm not lazy. I stay up until midnight regularly, which is exhausting when you're nursing a baby and have to get up early. I NEVER watch TV--I have no idea what folks are talking about when they mention popular shows.

To top off the stress, our family is concerned about the possible problems caused by the y2k computer problem, so we are trying to prepare for that as well. Not inspired by the problem, but definitely speeded up by it, is our impending move to a farm, where we will squeeze into a little house while we quickly build a bigger house, trying to set up homesteading at the same time. Right now our house is for sale and showing it is super stressful.

Now I hear some more minds clicking: "Why doesn't that lady just stick her kids in school, at least for a while?" Well, I know they are still getting lots of the good values that I want my children to have, things that they might quickly lose if they were around peer dependent children for very long. They are also getting a good look at real life, at a family depending on and calling out to God to get them through. We trusted God to plan our family and now we must trust Him to help us raise and educate them. Also, I don't know what school would take my 9 yo with his poopy pants and strange head and hand shaking, even though the kid is brilliant. And when we move to the country, the schools out there aren't the greatest anyway. Private school is out of the question.

Our daughter with Down's has been being seen by four different therapists for three years, but when she turns three later this month, all that will end unless we transfer her into the school system. We feel she is doing very well, mostly because we have all these siblings to roughhouse with her (and because she takes the vitamins that are targeted specifically for DS), so we are planning to take on her therapy ourselves as well.

I guess all this rambling and explaining is me just trying to work out for myself that it's still OK that we are homeschooling even though I don't feel like we get much formal schoolwork done at all. The formal stuff just has to come in spurts when I'm on an organized jag, I guess. I have tried and still am trying to change myself. But I must also live with how I am, just as I must live with how my children are, basically. In the end, I want my children to love learning, to know how to learn on their own, and to love and follow the Lord. It doesn't have to be done just one set way.

My heart goes out to you and my hat goes off to you. You are doing everything you need to do -trusting in God. He will do the rest. Remember He says in 2 Cor 12:9 but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.You are right,your children are a gift from God and He would never have given them to you if He didn't know you could handle it. God bless you!!!

I know I'm not the only one just exhausted by reading your post.

From my own experience and that with friends who have children with more difficult special needs, I am aware that the "services" for special needs kids are not so great out there anyway. Much of what goes on is warehousing -- and that's the Good part. (I know, I know, there are some good programs out there, and those of you who are BLESSED to have them, should be extra gratetful.) Therefore, I greatly admire your persistance, especially considering your own ADHD. I'd give you a hug and a crown, if I could.

Is your family supportive, or hostile? Are there -- or with the move I should say will there be any teenagers around who could help? One of my friends who has nine children, with two ADHD and one Down's, managed to have a friend of the family who was interested in special ed live with them for a year. This young girl had graduated from high school, but had not decided what she wanted to train in. She committed to a year with their family. I understand she is now training in this area. This friend has had this kind of help about every other year. It gives her the chance to hit the academics heavily with the other kids, during those times. Or--Perhaps a homeschooling teen, or even an eagle scout would take on some responsibility for an hour or two a day. What a blessing that learning experience would be for that teen, and then you could be freed up to have a serious more formal school hour during that time. I'll pray that the LORD start planting such an idea in a mom and teen out where you are moving. Or---Our Christian school has Seniors do a project on Wed. afternoons. Many of them spend their time giving of themselves in such a way. That might be another place to look. Or perhaps you can plant the idea in some administrator out there. (I'm brainstorming here.)

A question: *How do you ever get out to go anywhere?* I'm one of those people who even though a home mom is frequently not at home. I'm planning a fair amount of going places when I homeschool my boys next year. I'm blessed here with zoo, science center, art and history museum, butterfly house, transportation museum, water treatment plant tours, etc..... Is your hubby available to help?

I homeschool my son. We start schooling around 8:30. We do reading and wRIting first because these on the subjects he likes the least, so we get them out of the way first. Than we take a break, during the 15 minute break _____ is allowed free. After the break, we do math. Than we have recess unless _____ wants to work thu so that he can have the afternoon free. After Math/recess we do history, bible, and science. Once a week we go to PE group, library, and do art, and music. If _____ is doing things that he already knows and is working well on his own I can do my house work then. I have to been real careful about doing to much around _____, because he is very easily distracted.

I really like homeschooling. We had a very hard year last year and even though there are days that I feel like I have felled, would not go back to public school. My son is learning so much more by being home. His reading is getting better everyday. _____ is a very smart kid( when tested a four he was tested at 6yr old level) but he does not like doing seat work. So I find that if he is having a hard day that if I set with him and let him do his work orally he is able to settle down. I do not set time limits on _____, but he knows that the sooner he gets done the more free time he has.

"From what I have found out there is no guide line or base line form that a child should know from level to level, age to age, from the Government. And the government says education is a priority!"

As far as guidelines from the government: In The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling by Debra Bell (I really recommend this book for getting started, she covers everything, as well as checking out the Christian Home Educator's Curriculum Manual by Cathy Duffy) she mentions the State of Virginia's posting of their standards of learning website http://www.pen.k12.va.us/go/sols/home.shtml. I knew that my school district every year gave me a list of the standards of learning for my sons grade, so I checked our state's website and got their SOL from the site for the next few years for my son. Try checking with your state and ask your school district office for a copy of what they have for your son. Ours was pretty descriptive.

It has helped me with my decision to read some good Christian books on homeschooling. One is The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling by Debra Bell. It is a huge book with everything you would want to know about homeschooling. Debra is very practical and real in her book about what homeschooling is like. She gives tons of resources and even gives 4-page descriptions of each learning style to help you know the best way your child learns and you learn.

She also lists that the Christian Home Educator's Curriculum Manual by Cathy Duffy lists curriculum based on these same learning styles. I just happened to have picked that book up as well and have not looked at it yet.

Another book I enjoyed was A Survivor's Guide to Homeschooling by Luanne Shackelford and Susan White. Luanne is very practical and down to earth about her homeschooling experience (she has 7 kids!). I would say her book is more of a day in the life of type book and Debra Bell's is a resource written so you would not get bored reading it.

I got all these from my library and have tons more that I have not read yet. One thing Debra suggested was finding the homeschool association in your area and getting involved immediately. It gives you support and they have lots of activities for your kids to be involved in (socialization). Our association has activites every day. I don't mean to sound like an expert, I just started all this myself, but these are resources that have truly helped me. Also find out if about the next curriculum fair. Just looking at the catalogs I've already received and ads in the Homeschooling Today magazine (also got from library) are pretty overwhelming.